Monday, April 03, 2006

APRIL FOOLS DAY ALMOST EQUALLED MURGER...or at least a severe beating

Happy Monday all! Hope that everyone had a good weekend - we did. Wilson very nearly was murdered by yours truly and let me tell you.

Saturday was April Fools Day but Wilson was out of the house at the crack of stupid to help a friend renovate their spare bedroom. Do not see his handsome face all day which is fine as I have my own VERY FULL agenda.

Here is my day

8:15 - leave house at same time as Wilson with Maggie the Wonder Dog in tow. We go to Loblaws and get food for our lovely home!

9:20 - Arrive back home, madly putting above-mentioned groceries away so that I can head to my Mani/Pedi appt at Cozy Nails. They give free chocolate, smoothies and have the Sharper Image massage chairs for you to sit in while they scrape the dead skin off your feet! Imagine the joy and heavenly pleasures of the chair massaging you at the same time as a pedi while you drink a smoothie and eat chocolate. I am a much nicer person there! REALLY, I AM!!!

11:15 - Leave Heaven (a.k.a. as Cozy Nails) and go to the other Heaven (a.k.a. Holt Renfrew) and walk into the shoe department. I am standing in front of the Prada pumps when ReRe calls. It is fate! Spend time drooling over Prada, Miu Mius, find the Burberry Wellies (loving them even though they are totally frivolous) and then find the prettiest pair of Kate Spade summer sandals on this earth. Drool until asked to leave the department by sales person who slipped on said drool. Mental note - call lawyer as I am sure I will be sued.

11:30 - Go to Burberry - I do love the plaid. Touch everything and somehow manage to keep drool under control. Purchase a bit of the plaid - a headband that cost the earth but who cares. It goes with everything!

12:00 - Go to Pottery Barn and buy new lamp shade and baskets for Wilson's house. I have the Super Girlfriend cape on (it is very slimming). Stop by my apartment and retrieve purses and a few other things

12:30 - Leave mall and go to butcher to buy our meat for the week. Get new nickname by the guys in the store - 'Sports Centre' as I am a tiny bit of a freak about football. For all that I know, still can't win at Proline!

1:00 - Arrive home and kiss Maggie the Wonder Dog! Watch her do her yoga while peeing on front lawn and we go in. I unload my purchases and begin my many afternoon activites.

1:15 - Make low fat spinach dip, make white cheddar cheese dip (both of these involve a lot of chopping, grating, etc. A LOT OF MANUAL LABOUR INVOLVED!) Put new lamp shade on, arrange artwork, but baskets in and organize all items in baskets, tidy house, walk dog, have shower and make look pretty so that when Wilson comes in he does not see the harried and smelly DiDi - he sees serene and pretty DiDi who is secretly exhausted.

5:30 - Finished all of the above and want to sleep

5:35- Wilson calls - on his way home be there shortly

6:10 - Wilson walks in door, sees steaks on counter and all other items.

6:15 - Wilson has shower as he is dirty (and not the good way) and slightly smelly

6:30 - We start dinner and commence the drinking of lovely wine (I am a better person when I drink red wine as well)

7:30 - Finally sit down and eat dinner. Wilson mentions funny April Fools joke he played on his friends Dave and Lorrie. Mentions joke he wanted to play on DiDi and let me elaborate here.

He wanted to ask DiDi to marry him and then say 'APRIL FOOLS!' I look at like he just grew a 3rd eye and say "that is the meanest thing you ever said to me'. His reply - it isn't mean, it's funny! IT WAS NOT.FUNNY! IN.ANY.WAY! Thank you to Rob and Jeremy for talking him out of it. You might have said to him that telling me about it was also DUMB! I love him to bits but he can be dumb as a bag of hammer handles sometimes. This from the man who can do complex math things (that make me break out in hives) in his head!!!!!

7:45 - The rest of the evening was fine and lovely. We listened to lovely dateish songs and smooched.

Sunday was lovely and I am now organized to bits at Wilson's house. All in all a very busy weekend and now I am back at work!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

OMG - i have just read this and am HORRIFIED at the EXTREMELY poor taste practical joke - horrified!! Are men really that different, that is the antithesis of funny, what on earth could have been going through that wee bald head of his?!?! I do believe the precedent punishment for said crime is castration. Good thing he has since redeemed himself!