Monday, May 29, 2006


My friend Sharon sent this to me and I laughed out loud when I read it. Laughed at the humour and in embarrassment as I have totally done most of these things. One would think that with the milestone birthday coming up that I would become more mature and not do this shit anymore but NOPE!!! - still an idiot when I drink to much.

Have a laugh on me...

When woman drink too much...

  • We have no idea where our purse is
  • We believe that dancing with our arms overhead and wiggling our butt while yelling 'Woo Hoo' is truly the sexiest dance move around
  • We've suddenly decided that we want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe we could do it too
  • In our last trip to pee, we realize that we now look more like a homeless hooker than the goddess we were just a mere 4 hours ago
  • We start crying and telling everyone we see that we love them sooooo much
  • We get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song plays because 'Oh my God - I LOVE this song!!!"
  • We've found a deeper, spiritual side to the geek sitting next to us
  • We've suddenly taken up smoking and become REALLY good at it
  • We yell at the bartender - who we believe cheated us by giving us just lemonade - but that is just because we can no longer taste the gin/vodka/rum/rye - whatever
  • We think we are in bed, but our pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor (or the mop)
  • We fail to notice that the toilet lid is down when we sit on it
  • We take our shoes off because we believe it is their fault that we're having problems walking straight
  • We get up to go pee in the morning and think - gosh, I feel so good after that night of drinking - I am just going to go back to bed and sleep a little more. Then you wake up after that nap and you have never felt worse.

I have not done all of those things at once but I have done most of them. Here is an original DiDi drunk moment...

- come home and go to bed. Wake up a couple of hours later and feel really, really sick. You think to yourself, maybe you should go lay down on the bathroom floor as a preventive measure. You lay down on the mat with a towel for a blanket and have a nap (I call it a nap, some call it passing out).

Again, I realize that as an almost 40 year old woman, I should not be a wacko - but every once in a while the wacko rears her pretty red head!!!!


1 comment:

Paul said...

you are truly beautiful inside and out, at any age, but especially at 40..... glad to hear everything is going so well!! you deserve it.