Wednesday, June 25, 2008

LATEST MEETING OF THE SORORITY (otherwise known as dinner with a lot of wine)

Minutes of the latest meeting of The Sorority. I know that most of the internet will not find this as funny as we do but I howled when ReRe sent these through. God I love us!

- ReRe trumps DiDi's age crisis with 40-kids-single trifecta
- Mellie contemplating mistress lifestyle due to post-wedding woo and present decline
- DiDi and ReRe suggest possible downside to mistress lifestyle, burst mistress lifestyle bubble
- All in agreement marriage = death of woo
- Except DiDi content with Wilson Woo, a subtle but highly appreciated (by her anyway) form of woo, not an Asian man (who would have a small penis and therefore who would want his woo anyway?). Wilson Woo only happens when either been away for 3+ days or intoxicated.
- Mellie also appreciative of also-subtle Jew Woo, consisting largely of occasional "you look nice" comments but insufficient kissing
- DiDi and ReRe appalled at insufficient kissing
- ReRe not one to talk given current relationship with jacuzzi
- ReRe & Mellie grant DiDi permission to drink at all weddings - however all in agreement that DiDi should NEVER volunteer to plan a friend's wedding again.
- ReRe near suicidal at mention of word "wedding"
- Jew wants big boat
- Jew working hard ... on tanning
- All highly amused at vision of Jew camping in Lacoste polo and Rolex
- All considered delightful (though klutzy) drunks
- ReRe explained burn-like injury due to "I was drunk and I fell down"
- DiDi enjoying unfamiliar status as second klutziest. Unprecedented lack of soy sauce spilling (I was wearing black so soy spillage near impossible to detect)
- Mellie & DiDi concur husbands prone to dumping in case of substantial weight gain
- ReRe unable to share concern due to ongoing lack of husband
- 3 1/2 years with iPod man declared giant mystery
- iPod man's DiDi hatred declared overt, intense and highly amusing
- General iPod man mockery highly amusing
- DiDi and ReRe support Mellie's recent jewelry purchase; DiDi contemplating tennis bracelet purchase due to aforementioned post-wedding present shortage
- DiDi possibly grazed Mellie's arm due to tardiness-hunger combo
- ReRe's fake tan declared tan-like
- ReRe near suicidal due to constant engagement talk, also occurring during writing of minutes
- DiDi squashing ReRe's lunch-time income supplementation via prostitution plan due to footwear limitations
- Mellie & ReRe planning pedicure intervention
- Hoodia/TrimSpa phase remembered fondly by all

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