Wednesday, June 11, 2008


Dear Lottery,

I write this letter in protest because I have done nothing other than be an utterly faithful, loyal purveyor of your goods. I never miss a week. I buy multiple products. In other words I contribute substantially to your upkeep. What is my point you ask - well here it is.


I am sorry - did that seem like I was raising my virtual voice. It is only my frustration of not having won a jackpot that makes me a bit crazy. I have done nothing but praise you and support you for years and you still have yet to really reward me appropriately.

I am not asking to win the entire gigantic jackpot - but a portion of one would be just fine with me. Did you note my unselfishness? I am only reminding you that we have a mortgage and I would like to not work anymore due to the fact that I hate it.

As I have indicated to you on many past occasions, I would only do good works with the money. Assist my aged parents, contribute to charities, add to the local economy - and so much more. Also, having me win the economy would be good for the environment - as I would not have to drive to work, a lottery win would help reduce our carbon footprint and better the air quality for all concerned. Lastly, we are not ugly people and would look good in the paper when you take our photo holding onto the giant cheque. I know that you have your reputation to think of and do not want any unattractive people to be associated with you - you have your standards and I totally understand that. I hope this helps you better understand how a jackpot or part thereof for us would really be a good thing for all concerned.

With all of the aforementioned evidence, you can see that we are the ideal candidates for a winning lottery ticket. I urge you to once again, please consider my request.
I remain faithfully yours,


Muffy Willowbrook said...

That's a very convincing letter. In my opinion you totally deserve to win. You give and give and give.....

Dating at Forty said...

I hear you sister! I think perhaps the Lottery God is a man. All take, no give. It's just wrong.