Tuesday, February 12, 2008

LOVE - PART DEUX

More smooshy love stuff coming at you. Do you ever wonder at those couples who are married for 60 years and still in love. My parents are that couple - still happily married, still in love and shockingly still best friends. They will be marrid 59 years in 2008 and when I think about that, it moves me Every.Single.Time.
Being only 14 months into my marriage, they have been the best example any daughter could have in what to emulate in her own marriage. Growing up, I never heard them say a mean word to each other. No fighting, no throwing things, nothing. That does not mean that they didn't have squabbles but as my mom once told me - "If you keep your eye on the prize, they bumps along the way really don't mean all that much". Their prize was and is a long and happy marriage and they never forgot that. While that is what Wilson and I want - sometimes his crankiness and my bitchiness do get the better of us.

Their story is very simple - my dad was sent to Canada from England by his parents when he was 14 years old. He moved into the same area where my mother lived and somehow they never met. After the war, my dad served with the Royal Canadian Navy, he decided to come back to Canada and live in the same area where he'd lived when he was sent over from England. They both lived in the same area for a couple of years until a chance meeting - at church late in 1948. Six months after meeting, my dad popped the question and they were married in a small ceremony.

July 23, 1949

They decided not to wait to have kids and sure enough my oldest brother was born on Mother's Day of 1950 (true story - my mother said she was going to be a mother by Mother's day and sure enough, out he came on the day. Do not mess with my mom and her determination!) Five more kids followed - of which I am the sixth. When I was just over a year old, decided to add another one to the brood and adopted my brother to make it 7. They did not know that when they adopted my brother that he was developmentally disabled but when it started to show itself at around age 4 or 5 - they just rolled up their sleeves and dealt with that too. Many people told them to institutionalize him - but nope. They kept him with us and our family intact. I never knew life any other way but it had to have been so difficult for them - but you would never have known. This was their family and they would do whatever they could to make our lives better than theirs were growing up. They suceeded - in spades!


Now all of us are grown and out of the house. They spend every day together taking care of each other and I marvel at them. I watch my daddy age with my heart in my throat but my mom still sees that young guy that she married oh so long ago. I see them holding hands, caring for each other, helping each other and loving each other after so many years and it always brings tears to my eyes. I know that I don’t have many more years with this wonderful example around me and I cherish every moment.



Married 58 years and counting

Their loving legacy will continue on for so many years to come - with their 7 children, 12 grandchildren and 11 great-grandchildren.

I love you Mom and Dad - more than you could possibly know. Thank you for teaching me how to love and for showing me everyday what love brings to your life. Because of you I never settled and I found the love of my life. You both truly are the best!

2 comments:

Jemima said...

Oh my God, I'm totally wrecked now. What a lovely story! (snivel) Don't you think it really helps to have such great role models? My parents have been married for, oh, um, 43 years or so. And Simons' parents for 41 years now. And it's awesome how well they know each other, and are aware of each other's foibles and humor and soft spots. It just seems so important to be kind to one another.

Eleven grandchildren and 12 great-grandchildren? Wow! And a granddog too. Don't forget about Arthur!

What kind of learning disability does your brother have? I'm not trying to be nosy, but lately I've noticed that sometimes other people act like it's a secret and change the subject. And it just strikes me as a little cold, although I guess most of the time they just feel awkward. I don't know, is it rude to ask?

The Sorority said...

It is a great example to have and I look to it a lot. They have totally taught me to stick with it and focus on the things that really matter. My husband's parents have been married for 41 years as well. I have a girlfriend who laughed at us when she heard about us - said "How funny that two people from 'unbroken homes' get together!".

It is never to rude to ask about someone's disability - I am of the belief that sharing totally helps and gives you another avenue of possible support or information. A lot of times, people change the subject because most people don't take the time to understand because it is different.