Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Slacking as a job

There are times in every job that you must appear busy but in reality you if you weren't at your desk - no one but your co-workers would miss you. Here are some helpful hints with which to fill your day and never really accomplish anything...

  1. Never arrive before 9:30 a.m. as you get the best parking at that time
  2. Upon arrival – check all interesting websites to plan your day of reading/catching up on Hollywood Gossip and other tidbits (top sites for me - NY Post, Oprah,, etonline, Miss Doxie, Hashai, and the list could go on and on and on)
  3. Check voicemail and put off answering anything other than your boss as to do items throughout the day.
  4. Fill water bottle and chat with anyone that is at the watercooler – this can take up to 20 minutes
  5. Have morning chat (or as we like to call it -'host chat') with colleagues – this easily can fill an hour and people think you are having a meeting
  6. Enjoy mid-morning snack – 2nd round of colleague chatter
  7. Plan lunch time shopping expedition
  8. Leave for lunchtime shopping expedition
  9. Take 1 ½ hour lunch – shopping, eating, gossiping – all necessary items for mental health
  10. Return and peruse magazines (Vanity Fair, InStyle, People, US) for good articles to read
  11. Read said magazine with back to cube door so that no one can see – if not possible, place magazine inside business magazine (which you never read unless all other materials have been read and you have reached a new level of boredom. This includes perusing the classifieds to see what else is available
  12. Answer voice mail
  13. Afternoon chat with colleagues, check lottery tickets with hopes of winning and immediately leaving the building for Manolo shopping
  14. Leave by 4:30 pm
If you ask me, that is a very full day!!!

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