BITCH! WHINE! MOAN!

The title says what I am about to do!  Things I hate about business travel - in no particular order are:

• jet lag
• hotel rooms that are too dark - they think it is modern and nice, I think it is stupid
• shitty room service menus with no variety
• small planes with people who like to talk to their seatmate - even when she has her headphones on
• people who don't get the whole metal scanner thing and leave everything in their damn pockets and have to be searched- which holds up the line
• people who just stand where their stuff comes out of the xray machine and block it so that those of us who also have stuff coming out can't get it until they put back on all of their layers, pick up their minutia and otherwise annoy the CRAP out of me
• missing a good Sunday afternoon of football and relaxing on the couch because I had to get on a plane
• when your electric toothbrush somehow gets turned on in your suitcasea and then you have to use it like a manual toothbrush for the rest of your trip
• crappy hotels with plastic wrapped water glasses and shitty wine that tastes like kerosene
• those who do not shower before getting on a plane.  Seriously - do us all a favour - wet your body once a day, cover with soap, rinse and repeat.  Your pores will thank you as will your friends, family, colleagues, random strangers on the street, fellow subway goers, plane seatmates...you get my drift!

 Yeah, yeah - I know, I earn air miles with which Wilson and I can use to take a vacation except that when I get some 'not on a plane' time, I don't want to get on a damn plane! 

But there is a good side to business travel - nothing beats that joy you feel when your meetings end early and you get to go home 24 hours sooner than you ever thought you would!  And nothing feels better than landing at your home airport and knowing that soon, very soon you will get welcome home kisses and sleep in your own bed. 

AND AWAY WE GO!

Where did I leave off???  Oh yeah - a great first date.  Seriously - in the world of first dates - this one was world class in my books.  So I am thinking to myself - a 2nd date should be in the bag.  Right?   Wrong!  Now, you all know the ending to our story so just play along here. 

We have the great, first date - he meets my gorgeous dog, we eat ice cream - it is all pointing to date #2.  I emailed the next morning to say thanks, I had a great time and it would be great to do it again.  The response - lukewarm at best.  As I read it my brain started gearing up for an implosion.  The hell?  Did I imagine the great date?  This email, is of course forwarded, discussed A LOT and analyzed by many a great girlfriend. 

Week 1 - much discussion amongst DiDi and girlfriends that he must be busy. 

Week 2 - much discussion amongst DiDi and girlfriends that he is an ass*

Week 3-5 - DiDi has officially given up

* - this is before "He's just not that into you!"

Now, somewhere around Week 4 of no call, no follow, NOTHING - I had to go to a tradeshow and I knew that he would be there.  Y'all can imagine the painstaking detail I went through to look amazing at this show.  This was my attempt at "I will show you what you are giving up Wilson!" or another loose translation of this is "Eff you!"

So I got back to my life - working, walking the dog, hanging out with friends - all in all, lots of fun.  One Monday morning, I come into work and there is a voicemail waiting for me.  I don't know about you but I hate voicemail that is waiting for me in Monday morning - it usually means that someone has been into work on the weekend and they want to see me to dump copious amounts of work on me.  However, this time it is not - it was Wilson!  I am listening to the voice mail on my speaker phone and I hear his voice and I cannot pick up the phone fast enough.  He is calling to ask me to a Lobster Party this weekend.  FINALLY!  After 5 weeks of waiting, I finally get a 2nd date.  I am to call him back if I am interested.  ReRe, of course, from the minute she heard Wilson's voice on the speakerphone, ran her ass over to my desk.  We discussed waiting to call back to appear 'cool' but let's be clear about this - I have never been a 'Rules" girl and I never will.  I wanted to go so I called him back within 10 minutes of getting that call.  Date 2 booked!  Let the stressing about the wardrobe begin immediatly! 

Finally, after many consultations, it is determined to appear casually sexy.  Don't want to look like I am trying to hard, etc.  FYI - again, not sure I am a casually sexy kind of girl but I gave it my best shot.  Black, sleeveless V-neck top, with casual drawstring pants and pretty shoes.  Hair was flipped and makeup was light.  The twice-a-day workouts also helped because I managed to lose 3 pounds before the date.  So wish I could do that these days!

He picks me up - actually parks the car and comes up because he wants to see the dog!  This gains him HUGE points with me because Maggie was a huge part of my life and if she liked you, it went a long way!  We leave, go to the party and are the 2nd people there.  I am handed a drink right away and realize very quickly that this is going to be a long drunken night and I better pace myself.  More people start to arrive and at one point, Wilson is off helping our host get the lobster pots ready and I find myself surrounded by a gaggle of women who all know each other and are fairly new, first-time moms.  I now know that Wilson needs jobs to do,  and likes to help out at functions.  In other words, he needs to feel useful.  But at this point, on date #2, I did not know this - all I know is my date is no where to be found.  Once the conversation in my group leaned toward potty training, breast feeding and mommy & me play groups - I excused myself and went and hid in the bathroom.  Apparenly I was gone a long time because Wilson came looking for me and knocked on the bathroom door.  After I explained about being Mommed to death, he kept me near him and made sure to introduce me to nice people. 

Something to keep in mind here - our host Terry is known for throwing great parties.  Lots of booze, etc.  For some reason his wife (now ex-wife) never did any appetizers.  So everyone just feasted on cocktails.  Also, for some unknown reason, we never ate dinner at this lobster party until between 9 or 10 pm.  I think you all get where I am going with this because when all you eat are olives and vodka for hours, a party can really get going in a BIG way.  This was my 2nd date with Wilson!

Finally, at around 9:30 pm, we sit down to dinner - and yup, you guessed I am DRUNK!  However, I am also in great company as my date is drunk and so is the rest of the party!  We eat, flirt, laugh, flirt, pretty much everything and flirt - all fueled by my dear friend alcohol.  We help with clean up and dishes and by this time, I have lost the ability to enunciate and walk in a straight line.  I think it is 2:00 am, but apparenly it is only 11:00 pm.   The rest of the evening's details, while a bit fuzzy, will be left to your imaginations, but suffice it to say, after that we were officially "together"! 

Any hoo, we begin dating and I knew this one was different.  There was no game playing - he called when he said he was going to call, wanted to see me, introduced me to his friends, met mine, walked my dog with me and became someone that I knew I wanted to spend more and more time with.  I kept waiting for the shoe to fall from the sky and bonk me on the head - in other words, kept waiting for him to turn into an asshole but it never seemed to happen.  Finally I realized he wasn't going to be an asshole to me because he wasn't an asshole.  I had finally met a grown-up and he wanted to be with me and was very clear about this.  I was falling in love and it felt good and right and true.  Finally after much waiting and dating of assholes, I realized that they were just practice for the real thing.

Next installment - how do we keep the music playing?

WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?

So he called!  Well, really he emailed but who cares!  Is there a better feeling in the world than the boy who gave you the butterflies; the za za zsu; that crazy feeling in the pit of your stomach; the heart palpitations...OK, you know what I mean - contacts you.  Nope - not even a really good pedicure and y'all know how much I love a good pedi!!

We email and flirt, we call and flirt some more and then being the good sales guy that he is, he closes the deal and makes a date with me.  It was a Thursday evening at a local Thai restaurant just up the street from my house.   There are no embarrassing lulls in conversation, lots of laughter initated by both of us and otherwise a great evening.  We decided to walk and get ice cream for dessert - both of us love it and there was a great ice cream store around the corner from the restaurant.  We walk, get our cones and then were going to walk around the neighbourhood before heading for home.  However, Mother Nature had other plans - she is a crafty one she is.  It starts to rain and we head for his car for cover.  My apartment was around the corner and I suggested that we go back there (totally innocent suggestion - I SWEAR!).  We go back to my place and Wilson gets to meet the real love in my life at that time - Maggie.  For some reason, this dog who never and I do mean NEVER liked anyone when she first met them, decided  on the spot that Wilson was all hers.  Seriously, she sniffed him, let him pet her A LOT and then laid her head on his knee - all of this before we had even kissed properly!  Wilson, to his credit became a large pile of man goo because of her attention and I have always felt that I owe our relationship to her in some way.  Our joke is always that Wilson met me, liked me, thought I was cute but then he met Maggie, fell in love with her and had to take me because I came with the dog.  Seriously, is it bad that your dog gets ALL of the heavy petting on your first offical date? 

Here is how bad my dating life was before the self-imposed man hiatus - we had a great evening of good food, laughs, easy conversation  - and I was completely caught off guard by that.  It had not happened to me in a long time and I was totally gobsmacked by it.   So after the date, the next day, I emailed to say what a great time I had and wouldn't it be great to do it again.  The email I got back was, to say the least, not encouraging...lots of work, blah, blah, blah, get together again, not sure when, will call you!  In other words, a brush off, a nice one but still, a brush off.   I could not believe that I was the only one who had a great date but the evidence was telling me that "he was just not that into me". 

So I thought, maybe I had this great date to remind me not to give up on dating and men, just maybe going forward make better choices.  In the back of my mind, I just knew that somehow we weren't finished yet.  Little did I know how long I would have to wait before Wilson would make his next move.

Stay tuned!

ALONG CAME WILSON

So after lots of time, I reached the age of 36 and convinced that I was never going to meet someone that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with - let along bring home to meet my large, crazy family.  I decided that I was going to focus on my career, have fun with friends, enjoy my time with the dog and just have fun.  To this end, there was an opportunity for a some professional development that work was willing to pay for - it was a lot of money - so I took it and had a great time.  It was 4 days of networking and education and by the end of it, I was exhausted!   There was a swishy gala dinner at the end of it and while I wanted to go - there was some great entertainment - the tired half of me just wanted to go to bed.  But I dragged my ass there, got my table assignment and went in to eat and be entertained.  HA!  At a dinner of 3,000 people, I get stuck with a table of world champs at boring.   At this moment, I wish more than anything, that I had stayed home.

As I got to my table, I realized that I was at a table full of suppliers who were going to talk business with me all night.  No laughs, no fun - just more work.  A girlfriend walked by my table and stopped to say hello - and not being shy, I begged her to save me from my boring table.  Ten minutes later, she came back, told me there was a vacant seat at her table and to get my ass over there asap.  Which I did in world record time.  

I sat down beside my friend, said hello to everyone and then turned to my right, stuck out my hand and said "Hi, I'm DiDi".  The response was "Hi, I'm Wilson."  Did I know at that moment that I was sitting  beside my future husband?  Answer - NO!  However, I was wearing a great dress that showed off my cleavage, I was VERY funny that evening and if the truth be told, I thought he was gay so I felt no pressure.  That's right, I thought my future husband was gay!  In my defense, I am an event planner and 98% of the men in my industry are gay.  I just thought he was in the majority.  We are laughing, having a great time and I thought - nice guy, of course he is gay!  My friend who brought me to the table leaned over to me and whispered "I think that Wilson likes you!"  My response - "Of course he does, he's gay!".  To which she responded "Honey, my husband is a waiter, I know gay and that man is so NOT gay".  At that point, I reapplied my lipstick, turned back to Wilson and did not talk to my girlfriend for rest of the evening.  Funny enough - he went to university an hour from my home town and knew people I went to high school with.  As well, 2 of his closest friends are from my home town.  How is that for 6 degrees of separation!

We danced at the after party and had a great time and for the first time in a very long time, I felt actual butterflies about a boy.  All I knew was that I really wanted to see him again and did not have a single clue how to make that happen.   And then he called! 

Stay tuned - first date coming up!

IN THE BEGINNING...

In looking back at my many entries, I realized that I never shared the story of how Wilson and I became a couple.  As I think back on it, there was no meeting of eyes across a crowded room or declarations of instant love but it is still a good story.  But before I tell that story, let me share with you a bit my backstory.

My twenties were pretty typical - lots of fun, trips, guys and nights out with the girls at local bars.  I had lots of fun and made every bad decision about guys that you can make.  I went to see "He's just not that into you" with some work girlfriends and cringed in way too many places as I made most of the typical guy mistakes that were highlighted in that movie. 

Finally, after a couple of job changes I knew that I had to make some radical changes to my life.  I decided (1) to find a job where I did not travel like an idiot - my previous jobs had me travelling up to 60% of my time, which led to exhaustion, no life and a near breakdown - (2) go on a man hiatus and (3) get a dog. 

The right job came about after a while - I took some short term contracts to pay the bills, made some cuts in my spending and eventually I found a job with a great company. 

The man hiatus was to make me realize that I was OK on my own and to stop waiting for a guy to 'rescue' me.  I wanted to get my head and heart aligned so that the next time I met someone who gave me butterflies I would be able to determine if he was Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now. 

The dog - Maggie.  Adopting my sweet girl from the Humane Society on that rainy October day in 1999 was one of the best choices I have ever made.  Because of her, I got into better shape from walking 90 minutes a day, 7 days a week, made great friends at the dog park and had to care for something other than myself.  Most of all, unconditional love met me at the door everyday with a wagging tail and that is the best thing of being a dog owner. 

By the time I met Wilson, I had changed my life quite drastically from what it was and I was in a good place.  I knew what was important to me and I was happy with me, my life and where I was.  I had stopped looking for a boy to save me and decided to save myself.  

And then came Wilson.  More on that later!