Just when I was feeling my worst – unpretty, unlovable, un-everything (it was an excellent pity party - remind to invite you next time!) – I tell a friend in the office of my current situation as I have to change Wilson as my beneficiary on everything and she tells me that she is in the process of divorcing her husband as well and their situation is VERY ugly filled with restraining orders, police visits, lawyers, lawyers and more lawyers. This is when I realized that I need to be grateful – just because my marriage is coming to an end – I do not have to worry about my safety EVER!
I realized that while this may not be what I want and am worried about the future and how I will afford all the bills that are going to be coming my way, dating after 40 and all those normal post divorce things – I am not worried for my safety. I know that I will survive this and come out the other side OK. I know that I will figure it all out, with the help of amazing friends and family, and I will be OK – better than OK.
Life is messy – but it is the mess and the cleaning up of the mess that shows you what you are made of and how strong you can be. So far today I haven’t cried at work – and that is a victory!
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