ON A LIGHTER NOTE...

I am down 12 pounds!  As far as I can tell, this is the only upside to starting separation and divorce proceedings but I will take it.  I have not been on a date in 8 effing years but I do remember that looking good does help you get 2nd dates.  Having a damn spare tire and a flabby ass do not help in that catagory so the fact that they are disappearing does help my battered ego. 

And another good thing - since I didn't get rid of some of my favourite clothes from 2 years ago when I could fit into them, it is like I have new clothes again...without having to go shopping and spend money that is now earmarked for a lawyer. 

12 pounds down - here is hoping another 10 pounds to go!  Bring on the skinny jeans!

A VICTORY OF SORTS...

Just when I was feeling my worst – unpretty, unlovable, un-everything (it was an excellent pity party - remind to invite you next time!) – I tell a friend in the office of my current situation as I have to change Wilson as my beneficiary on everything and she tells me that she is in the process of divorcing her husband as well and their situation is VERY ugly filled with restraining orders, police visits, lawyers, lawyers and more lawyers. This is when I realized that I need to be grateful – just because my marriage is coming to an end – I do not have to worry about my safety EVER!



I realized that while this may not be what I want and am worried about the future and how I will afford all the bills that are going to be coming my way, dating after 40 and all those normal post divorce things – I am not worried for my safety. I know that I will survive this and come out the other side OK. I know that I will figure it all out, with the help of amazing friends and family, and I will be OK – better than OK.


Life is messy – but it is the mess and the cleaning up of the mess that shows you what you are made of and how strong you can be. So far today I haven’t cried at work – and that is a victory!

AND SO IT BEGINS...

So as previously mentioned, I am at this moment, only technically married to Wilson - and just writing that sentence is surreal to me.  He has been such a huge part of my life for 8 years that I can't really comprehend that we will not be growing old together. 

The process has started - lawyers, real estate assesments, financial discussions, Arthur discussions and we are being very mature about things (so far), but still I am overwhelmed at times with memories, what-would have been wishes and dreams.  And to tell you the truth - that really sucks!

I do know that the next phase of my life is all about me and that is REALLY hard to comprehend.  Having been a 'we' for so long, being back to 'me' is seemingly unfathomable right now.  I am trying not to get overwhelmed by the massive amount of changes that are a-coming but right now I feel like I am lost on a raft in the ocean being buffeted by very large waves. 

However, I have learned one thing in this process - I really liked being someone's wife and hope with all of my badly bruised heart that it will happen again.  Right now I am trying to take the words of Dr. Seuss to heart - Don't cry because it is over, Smile because it happened. 

Still - should anyone want to come and kick Wilson in the shin for me, I wouldn't say no!

HELLO OLD FRIEND -IT HAS BEEN A WHILE...

Hello old friend - it has been a while. I had many posts started and then everything changed over here in Sorority land.  It seems that while I was happily married to Wilson, Wilson was not so happily married to me.  I am not sure how I got here but here is where I am - broken hearted with a broken marriage.  

I thought that I did it right - waited until I found a good guy, fell in love and then got married.  To me, this was for life and no matter what I thought we could handle anything.  I thought that Wilson felt the same way - but it seems that I thought wrong.  

So here I am - not sure how I got here and right now the view sucks but here is hoping that it all gets better soon!