DREAMING OF BIGGER THINGS...

Do you ever daydream about what it would be like to win the lottery?  It is a fun exercise to play when the work doldrums gets you down.  Here is my wish list:

$50,000 Lottery win
- $25K to retirement savings
- $25K to retiring all debt
with the resulting lovely tax refund that would come from my deposit to retirement savings, that would go on my mortgage

$100,000 Lottery win
- $25K to retirement savings
- $25K to retiring all debt
- $50K to mortgage (that would take YEARS! off)

$1,000,000 Lottery win (this one is fun...)
- mortgage gone
- debt gone
- retirement savings caught up
- $25 k in home improvements - new appliances, redo kitchen, redo front stairs, new floors
- $600K in investments
- $100K in an educational trust for nieces and nephews

I would still have to work with all of the above but the fear of eating cat food in my old age would go away.  Anything over $1,000,000 would just mean nicer shoes, more savings, maybe a new house but really, it would just mean the freedom to make some fun choices.  
Try it some time - it is a really fun exercise to do when the blahs get you down!

Enjoy!!

LOOKING FOR SOMEONE SPECIAL...

Dear Universe,

In the spirit of putting it all out there and going after what I want, here is what I would like in a future partner:

1. Smart – doesn't have to have an off the charts IQ but no one wants to be with an idiot
2. Funny – doesn't need to be a comedian but be able to find the humour in most situations.  Be able to laugh at himself. 
3. Kind
4. Financially stable/successful
5. Can communicate his feelings/thoughts without me having to hitch an F-150 to them and drag them out of him
6. Is a happy person – more positive than negative, good perspective on life.
7. Able to be a partner
8. Decent relationship with ex – doesn’t have to be best friends but should be able to talk/work things thru without lawyers and/or screaming matches
9. Loves his children and has a good relationship with them
10. Able to prioritize – not just work and responsibilities, but the people  in his life.  If he has kids, they are always a priority but able to make me feel like one as well. 
11. Tall enough – doesn’t need to be 6’ 4”, but I would prefer not shorter than me without high heels
12. Affectionate
13. Strength of character
14. Have ethics and a sense of justice
15. Roots for the underdog – doesn’t have to be all the time but sometimes is good
16. Be able to stand up for himself – even if his opinion is the unpopular one
17. Good kisser
18. Good in bed
19. A dog person
20. Good with families
21. Good with people with disabilities
22. Loves to travel
23. Open to adventure
24. Open mind
25. Is ok with my crazy, demanding job
26. Has a life of his own, friends of his own  and wants the same for  me.  
27. Doesn’t sweat the small stuff – we all do occasionally but has enough life experience to know when to fish or cut bait. 
28. Wants to get married again
29. Knows what he wants and goes for it
30. Can keep a secret/be discreet
31. Has dealt with his issues from previous relationships and knows himself. 
32. Is not ugly – please let him not be ugly.  I know that this is really shallow, but come on, I have to look at this face for the rest of my life.  I would like it to be somewhat attractive.
33. Knows that romance, the true kind and not the Hallmark version, is incredibly hot
34. Knows how to listen

I know that this seems like a paragon of virtue but he has to be out there somewhere, someone who has most of these traits. 

Universe, thank for hearing my request.  I will continue my search until I find the one that makes my heart skip a beat and wants want I want - to love and be loved in that crazy, inconvenient, all-consuming way that real love is.  

HELLO...IS THIS STILL ON? IS ANYONE OUT THERE?

I took a break because I felt like I didn't have anything left to say but what I have found, is that I need a place to put some thoughts.  So here I am, 4 years older and hopefully wiser, and still needing to quiet the noise in my head.  

So much has changed and yet nothing has changed.  I guess that is life.  

Here we go again...

Diane aka DiDi

A LETTER TO MY YOUNGER SELF

A letter to my younger self

I have been thinking about this a lot – what would I do different if I could go back and do it all over again, or what do I have now that I wish I had back then…so I thought I would take a moment to write to my younger self

Dear Younger self,

This is the older version of your wanting, if in some way to go back in time and have a do-over on some experiences – mainly high school and some of my twenties.  But since that is not likely to happen, here is what I wish I could tell you from the future…

1. Ignore the bitches in high school.  I know that you think that they matter but they really don’t.  Mean girls are not, in any way better than you.   
2. Exercise – it really is important and a good habit to cultivate. 
3. Use sunscreen every damn day.
4. Never, ever let any boy make you feel that you have to do something you want to do.  You get to decide what you want to do with your body and when and with who.  Any boy who does not accept your answer and continues to pressure you is an ass and is not deserving of your time or affection.  It does not matter how cute he is or how popular.  Also no matter what he says he will not die if he does not get into your pants. 
5. Remember that you are smart and never let anyone let you feel that you are not. 
6. Math, the complicated kind with lots of letters and symbols – will never be your strong suit and that is OK.  There are lots of ways to be smart and doing complicated equations in your head is just one of them.  However, it is kind of important so ask for help or get a tutor.
7. Your sense of humour will get you through just about anything. 
8. Find something that you love to do and go for it.  Don’t let fear hold you back from trying new things. 
9. Always try to make the best decision for you at the time.  Should this decision contravene what someone else wants to do with you or have you do for them, have the strength to do you what is important to you. 
10. Learn a 2^nd language. 
11. Be yourself at all times.
12. Know that you are always enough.  You don’t have to do more or be more or try harder to make anyone happy. 
13. When you have sex for the first time – it is not like a Harlequin Romance.  This is not to say that it is not fun or great – but the books can be a bit misleading. 
14. Travel.  And not to the all inclusive kind of place, although those are fun but to far off places that you read about in books.  See as much of this world as you possibly can so that you know that you live in a truly great country.  There is no feeling like that of getting on a plane and looking forward to an amazing vacation and there is also no feeling like that of coming home. 
15. Loving someone else is the best gift you can give yourself and also the greatest risk you can ever take.  You grow when you love someone else and even though you will get hurt, you learn something with every relationship.  Take the risk – it is worth it.
16. Most importantly – love who you are and have fun. 

You will go onto have great friends and experiences and have a great life.  You will be loved and be heartbroken but you will survive and thrive.  You will find in yourself abilities that you would never have imagined that you would have and do things that will amaze yourself.  You get one shot at this life and the best advice I can give you is to enjoy every damn moment.  You should always remember that remember that “Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out. 

With love,

Your future, older self

WHAT 2010 TAUGHT ME...

Being that 2010 has been the year of the most change ever in my life it has also been the year that has taught me the most about myself.  So what did I learn last year – here goes…

1. Change does not kill you.  It may make you feel damn uncomfortable and/or make you wish for death but in the end, you don’t die from it. 
2. That I hate the saying “that which does not kill you makes you stronger”.  I was pretty damn strong before and people saying that to me all the damn time made me want to kill THEM.  
3. Also, I hate the phrase that ‘time heals all wounds’.  For the record – never say that to a recently separated woman.  Time gives you the needed distance from your warring emotional state to get perspective and objectivity.  Eventually you start to heal but when I was 2 weeks post conversation with Wilson, all I wanted to do was punch people when they said that to me. 
4. Divorce is effing ugly.  No way around it on that one.  However, staying in a marriage where your husband no longer loves you is even uglier.  And as ugly as my divorce was, I am grateful that it was just me and Wilson and that we did not have kids that had to go thru this with us.  
5. I have learned that there is no end to the kindness of friends and family.  When the chips are down and you feel like you are just going to sit down in the middle of the road and go no further because your legs won’t carry you, they come along and carry you for a while until you can walk on your own again.  Because of these amazing people in my life, I was able to find my way back to being a ‘me’ from a ‘we’ and do so with a fair amount of grace.  I know that without them, I would not have been able to do this without the help of some little blue pills.  And for that, I am forever grateful.
6. Pretty shoes ALWAYS make me feel better.  
7. Divorce is not the worst thing that can happen to you.  It may feel like it at the time but all it does is make you split the stuff in your house and pay a lawyer.  The only thing that died was your marriage - and for that I am grateful.  My parents, family and friends are all still alive and healthy and so am I. 
8. Love is truly blind and divorce reveals all.  It is amazing to see what becomes of the person that you loved (and I am sure that Wilson would say the same about me) thru this process.  
9. I learned that even though you divorce someone, you never wish them ill.  I loved Wilson truly, madly and deeply.  That love really doesn’t go away - it just kind of mutates into something indefinable.   Oddly enough I never hated him - my girlfriends do enough for 10 people and that is kind of funny for me.  I no longer love him as I did but I don’t want bad things to happen to him.  Truthfully – that one kind of surprised me a bit.  Doesn’t mean that I don’t think he is an ass, but I don’t want him to be a hurt, maimed or dead ass.  
10. I have learned that nothing lasts forever.  
11. I have learned that marriage is a living, breathing entity that needs daily care.  While there are days, weeks, months where it seemingly is going so well that it takes care of itself – that is when it needs the most care.  Because if you take are of your marriage when the times are the best, it will pay off in spades when you hit a rough patch.  
12. Change is inevitable.  
13. Change for the most part is good – cleans out the old, the dark corners, the musty smell.  No one really likes to go into those dark corners – you have to face the demons that live there, the truth that in fact, you helped to create mess, the dark corners, the musty smell.  Hopefully you learn enough thru the change to recognize when you are doing it again and stop it or if you are really smart, to never do it again.  
14. The only way your marriage can survive is if you both change in your marriage – at roughly the same pace – and acknowledge each other’s changes.  Nobody stays the same person forever and if we don’t stay the same, how can we expect our marriages to remain static.   
15. I don’t need to be rescued or saved or protected.  I do need to love and be loved, cherish and be cherished and care and be cared for – and knowing this makes me even surer that I will meet someone who feels the same way.  I am not sure why – I just know that I will.  That is what sustains me through this dating journey I am on.   
16. I used to be afraid of trying – now my motto is ‘feel the fear, do it anyway’.  Fear used to stop me from trying, doing, changing.  Now, I am going to try and I may fail spectacularly or I am succeed just as spectacularly.  Who knows but I will never know unless I try.  So this year I am going to jump out of a plane, get SCUBA certified and who knows what else.   Look out world - here I come!
17. That I am a strong, confident woman.  I always knew that but now, after learning the above, I am unstoppable.  And that, is the best thing I have learned EVER!

So what did you learn in 2010? 

MY WISH LIST

I have always believed that if you really want something, write it down and then send it out to the Universe.  I also believe that you can’t just wish for stuff and then POOF! magically find someone who is everything on it without working on yourself either.  So that is what I am doing in this time of flux – really figuring out what I like, want, need so that when the next great guy comes along, I will be ready to take the leap. 

So universe, here is hoping that you are listening because here is what I would like to find in a boy:  

1. Honest – with himself and with me
2. Caring
3. Kind
4. Financially responsible/successful – I am not talking millionaire here but someone who has been able to grow their career as I have and has found success
5. Smart
6. Loyal
7. Has a sense of humour – finds me funny, makes me laugh, gets the overall joke in life, sees humour in every day things, can laugh at himself
8. Tall enough that I can wear high heels – I am a girl and I love pretty shoes - nuff said
9. Emotionally intelligent/good sense of self/comfortable in his skin – knows who he is and is OK with that, won't be a pushover with me, will stand up to me if Iam out of line but will also stand up for me
10. Adventurous – I don't mean crazy adventurer cliff diver but willing to try something once even if he might not be good at it.  Has a zest for life and living
11. Not fat – I am no hard bodied girl and I am not asking for a super duper fit guy but someone who takes care of themself, somewhat active and is not a couch potato all of the time. 
12. Loves dogs – Anyone who wants a life with me will have to be used to the fact that there will always be a dog in the house and had better understand the responsibility that goes with that 
13. Love of travel – I love it and want to continue this throughout my life not as a tourist but as a traveler
14. Decent relationship with ex – especially if there are children involved.  Divorce is not easy ever but if you chose to have children with your former spouse, you have to rise above the crap and develop a new relationship that can be at cordial.
15. Respect – for himself, other people, women
16. Confident – nothing is sexier than a confident man
17. Passionate – about life but also about me.  Not to be too inappropriate here but wants to have a healthy, active life in the bedroom
18. Affectionate – holding hands, kissing, hugs – touch is very important to me
19. Cares about the little things in life – I don’t need him to remember the day we first kissed but remembers when I have important stuff coming up and asks about it. 
20. Communicator – not easy but you have to be willing to talk about anything – easy or difficult. 
21. Willingness to be vulnerable – everyone struggles with this but I do believe that when you love someone and trust them enough to be in a relationship, you have to be willing to show them your best and worst.  You have to be willing to trust your partner enough to show those parts of you that no one else sees
22. Non judgemental – as much as humans can be – no biases or bigotry allowed
23. Gets relationships - understands that they are a marathon not a sprint and won't bolt for the door when the going gets rough
24. Has figured out a balance in his life between work, family, friends, etc
25. Has been able to establish good friend relationships - I have amazing friends who mean the world to me and would want the same for my partner

But most of all, that he wants a real relationship with me and that he gets that a real relationship is so many things all at once - joyous, crazy, passionate, amazing, trying, best thing, knee buckling, frustrating - and yet would not have it any other way.  Spending your life with someone and sharing all that goes with it is one of the toughest yet most rewarding things you can do and I want someone who understands that and is willing to take the leap with me. 

 

So all in all - that is what I am looking for and fingers crossed that I might find someone who has most of these qualities and that I am most of what is on his list too.  Until that time, I will keep working on me and having fun while I do it.  Life is too short to dwell on what is missing when you have so much good right in front of you. 

 

HI THERE! REMEMBER ME?

So it seems that I took a wee break from blogging and in that time much has happened…

-         I have learned that while love is blind, divorce is all-seeing.  I had a horrible conversation with Wilson about money.  It was the kind of conversation that made me wonder what I ever saw in him.  I know that this is bound to happen but after that conversation, this girl who loved that boy so deeply wonders where the boy is that she fell in love with?  Then, maybe he never really existed in the way that I saw him and this part of him was there all along, I just never had to deal with him in that way.  Realizing that was very sad and also freeing because once this is over, I will never have to deal with him again.

-         We had another horrible conversation about Arthur – our beloved dog.  The intention all along was to share him once it all got settled because we both love him and he loves us both.  After the above conversation, Wilson decided it was time to share that he no longer wants to share Arthur and either I take him or he takes him but no more visitation.  Cue my broken heart and many tears but in the end this will be the best decision for me.  It will completely cut the cord between Wilson and I which is for the best but to never see Arthur again is something that seems unbelievable to me still.  I know that he will be loved for all of his life and that is all any dog owner could ever want but it still hurts like a mutha!

-         DiDi had a date – and a good one with Practice Date boy or as I described him to the BFFs  - the Basset Hound.  Somehow, he never got the message that I was not really interested in seeing him again and would send texts or call to keep in touch.  Cut to DiDi travelling for the new job and I get a text from him that says he knows the first date was a dud and he would like a do-over.  I had to give him points for persistence (or stalking) and for admitting that the first date sucked and that he would like to try again.  Out we did go and he left the Basset Hound persona behind.  He was fun, charming, flirty – all the things you want on a date.  After having a good time playing pool, we leave the bar and are going to go to another location when he planted a kiss on me that surprised the hell out of me – in a good way.  I never in my life expected the Basset Hound to kiss like that!  Needless to say, it was a much better experience than the first one and he closed the deal and we are going out again.  Completely took me by surprise in such a good way and that has not happened to me in a long time. 

-         The new job is great and am really enjoying the change.  Great team and boss have done wonders to my outlook. 

So that is me to you in a nutshell.  Still figuring this single again, getting divorced, dating, moving forward life of mine out but am now enjoying the process a lot more.  Life these past few months has been an eye opener for sure but in the end, my life will be better and I am all for better these days. 

PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME INTERNET!

I am back - have been sick and now work is INSANE!   I have 3 posts that I have started and want to finish and most of all I miss you all! 

Wilson is out with the boys drinking to excess on Saturday night - my plan is to settle down with a bottle of wine and update!  Won't that be fun - reading the ramblings of a drunken 40 something.  I know that you are all waiting with bated breath!

Chat soon!

PS - You all have really nice shoes today and your hair looks great!  Have you lost weight because that outfit makes you look extra thin today!   I heard that flattery gets you everywhere so I thought I would try it.  Let me know if it works!!

ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS...

If loving Donny Osmond is wrong, I don't won't to be right! 

I know, I know, I have been absent but I have lots of excuses:
- travel, travel and more travel.  Seriously, I was in China
- sick, sick and more sick.  Not kidding, heinous cold
- Jet lag - spend 20 hours on a flight and then try to be funny or creative
- work.  A significant lottery win is required to relieve me from this daily 9-5 affliction. 

Anyway, just watching Dancing with the Stars and my love of Donny Osmond is still alive!  If that makes me uncool, so be it! 

I have many posts started and saved.  Stay tuned, many posts are a-coming!  Missed you all!!!

UPDATED

At long last I have updated my blogroll - but have noticed that it has significantly shrank in the last while (since I got a real job and started working instead of blogging - damn that ambition and need for money to pay for my pretty shoe habit!).

Who are you reading internet?  Who should I check out these days?

TRAVEL

I love to travel and that is a good thing as I do it a lot for my job. I love the excitement that getting on a plane brings me – even if I have been to that city or place many times before. It is the act of going away and of coming back that never ceases to put me in awe of how far one person can go in an airplane.



However, because I fly a lot, every time I take off or land I think about crashing. Not sure why I do – I am not afraid of flying at all, in fact I rather like it. However, it never fails, every time I am in a plane I think about crashing. With the news lately of the Air France flight that went down in the Atlantic, I have been thinking a lot about those passengers and what they went through. I can picture these passengers on their flight doing all that you do when you get on a plane – getting on, settling in, trying to make sure that you get good arm rest room, getting snacks, beverages, pillows, blankets, choosing what movies to watch, talking with their kids, thinking about their loved ones on the other end when they land or all that they want to do on their latest travel adventure.


When I think about crashing, all I think about is that if we do crash, I want it to be fast so that no one, especially me, suffers. I also think “Did I tell Wilson and Arthur that I love them? Did I leave the iron on? Did I pack my own pants or Wilson’s this time?” I think about these passengers and send a fervent wish to the universe that these passengers did not know what was happening and that their last moments were not filled with panic, confusion, fear and suffering. I hope that they could only enjoy their flight until it was too late and then it was over before they knew what was happening.


But really, the worst is for those loved ones coming to the airport to meet them, holding signs, flowers, gifts and waiting with open hearts and arms only to be told that they were never going to see these friends, family, lovers, loved ones ever again. There is no balm for that kind of pain and suffering as it is a wound that never really heals. So today, I think about all of them and am feeling sad. I will think about them the next time I am sitting on a plane with thoughts of crashing going through my head and know that because of them, I left for my journey making sure Wilson and Arthur know that they are loved and that they love me back.

BRITAIN'S GOT TALENT

Internet, I am sure that you have seen this because it seems that everyone has!  But holy hannah it sure surprised me!

All I want to do is make over this woman - fix the eyebrows and hair, take her shopping, better make up, tell her to never, ever wear dark hose with a light dress and shoes and lastly, tell her about Spanx when you go on national TV.   I know, I know - I am shallow but then you already know this about me.

You gotta love a good Cinderella story and here is hoping that she can win it all.  But before she does, I do hope that she gets her eyebrows fixed. 

GOOD DAY!

Today is a good day internet and do you know why???  The sun is shining, it is Friday AND I am wearing open-toe shoes for the first time in months!!!

I am one happy girl!  Now if only that damn lottery win would come through tonite - my happiness would be complete!  Fingers crossed!!

COMING HOME FROM OVER THERE!

Good news! Our friend Rob is coming home in 10 days from Afghanistan! Can I get an Amen to that one Internet! He has some stuff to do in a couple of different places and then he is home with his wife Marcie and 2 kids for a month before he has to report back for duty. The sense of relief and happiness that overwhelmed those of us who know him when we found out he was coming home was indescribable.



I admire Marcie so much and also wonder how the eff does she do it? She married him knowing that the Armed Forces were his career choice, knowing that he trained to put himself into harm’s way. How do you watch your partner leave you for a year not knowing if he will ever come home and put his arms around you ever again? How do you function as a married couple some of the time but a single mom the rest of the time?  How do you love the spit out of him all the time but want to kick him in the shin (really hard!)some of the time?


Obviously I am not made of the stuff required to be a military spouse – you have to be a lot nicer person than me and have the ability to put up with way more crap than I ever could. Also, being adjacent to Army green is not good for my complexion – it tends to wash me out.


So thank you for sending the good thoughts way back when - I know that it helped! 

Have a good hump day Internet!

THE OFFICIAL CANADIAN TEMPERATURE CONVERSION CHART

Once Christmas is over, I cannot wait for the heinous white stuff to be gone and spring to arrive.  It seems that it never will some days as more of that effing white stuff falls from the sky, makes my drive to and/or from work absolute hell and in general just pisses me off. 

However this was sent to me recently and I had to laugh out loud at it.  For those of you who suffer through winter along with us - you can relate.  For those of you in sunnier climes, who do not have snow, extreme cold and dry, chapped skin - I hate you all - but you can pity those of us who were not as smart as you in choosing a place to spend our lives. 

50° Fahrenheit (10° C)
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Canadians plant gardens.


35° Fahrenheit (1.6° C)
Italian Cars won't start
Canadians drive with the windows down


32° Fahrenheit (0 ° C)
American water freezes
Canadian water gets thicker.


0° Fahrenheit (-17.9° C)
New York City landlords finally turn on the heat.
Canadians have the last cookout of the season.


-60° Fahrenheit (-51° C)
Mt. St. Helens freezes.
Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door.


-100° Fahrenheit (-73° C)
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Canadians pull down their ear flaps.


-173° Fahrenheit (-114° C)
Ethyl alcohol Freezes.
Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg


-460° Fahrenheit (-273° C)
Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops.
Canadians start saying "cold, eh?"


-500° Fahrenheit (-295° C)
Hell freezes over.
The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup

MY YEAR IN REVIEW....so far

Holy crap has my year so far been crazy. Here are some of the things that I did over the holidays...

• spent time with Wilson's family and celebrated Christmas

• went to Ottawa for work and was at the World Junior Hockey tournament and stayed in a hotel for 12 days - which is not as nice as it sounds
• watched Canada vs. US hockey game on New Year's Eve, which Canada won 7-4. It totally rocked!!!

• watched Canada win our 5th consecutive gold medal at the World Juniors and heard 21,000 people screaming until the roof lifted off Scotia Bank Place. Hearing our anthem sung by an arena full of people who were as proud as I was was an amazing thing to be a part of.

• Then I came home and got the worst head cold I have had in years. Seriously, could not even talk to ReRe on the phone - which NEVER happens!

Now life is back to normal, work is crazy and all is well. And you dear Internet, how are things with you...

COME BACK! COME BACK!

I am a woman obsessed!  I have been watching Mad Men since the very beginning (I was home sick and saw the 'Making of' thing on AMC and got hooked from that moment) and now, it is gone for another season! 

And now I must wait another year to see Don again.  Damn you season finale!  Damn you studio execs who believe in limited runs!  Give me back my Don! 

I will just have to content myself with reruns of both seasons until he comes back to me - in all of his gorgeous glory!  Sigh...

THE VIEW FROM THERE

This was the view that I had when I was outside of San Francisco last week.  Pounding surf, sunshine and mild weather were almost enough to make me ditch my life and become a California girl. 

I know that California has smog, too many cars, earthquakes and an actor for a governor but every time I go I always think that I could so live here. 

Oh well, maybe in my next life!

YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE IT AFTER ALL...

Had a blast watching the Emmy's last night and my girl crush on Tina Fey has grown significantly!  She is truly one of the funniest women on the planet and when she and Amy Poehler are together, I am in hysterics.  Also, having Jeff Probst, Patrick Dempsey and Jon Hamm all in one show together was utterly delicious!  I remembered why I watched Survivor as long as I did and Jeff Probst is that reason.  Those dimples...sigh! 

Flash forward to near the end of the show and out comes Mary Tyler Moore with her trademark megawatt smile and from a distance I was all 'Damn she looks good!' - fit, really good hair, great dress and I am all happy to see her and had the show theme song running through my head.  http://www.televisiontunes.com/Mary_Tyler_Moore_-_1972.html

Aaaannnnd then the camera pulled in for a close up.  "Pull back!" I screamed at the TV.  Mary has a scary, plastic surgery face!  Her face was so tight that her crotch must be up around her ears when she smiles.  Then she gestured and again I was horrified!  The crepey, flappy skin almost whacked me in the face.  Mary, please!!  I beseech you - no more plastic surgery and pretty, pretty please wear sleeves when on TV from now on!  I know that aging is a bitch but please - we all have to recognize that we can no longer wear certain things anymore with every decade we age.  And at your age - sleeves are now mandatory!  And Mare, please know, I pick because I care.

Now am back at work and dreaming of being stranded on a desert isle with Jeff Probst...ooops, sorry for the drool!

Have a good week y'all!

NO WAY! NO HOW! NO COMB OVER!

I will never understand how anyone can think that a comb over is in any way attractive? 

Case in point, I am in the mall on Saturday getting my cardio in (otherwise known as shopping) and in front of me is an attractive, older man.  He turns to get on the escalator and I thought I was going to have a stroke.  Glued to his head with some type of shiny head sealant, were no more than a dozen hairs carefully arranged in some sort of even fashion.  Did he think that I could no longer see the tanned top of his head?   Actually the tanned top 3/4s of his head? 

On behalf of women everywhere I make this public request - cut it off!  We can see the skin shining through the 6 hairs you are so proud of and beg of you to embrace your baldness.  Nothing is attractive about a few hairs grown so long and scraped up and over a place on your head where they do not belong.  Do what is right and set those poor hairs free!  They have done their best for you and now is their time to retire to Hair Heaven! 

Women around the world beg of you - no more comb over!  And in return, we will stop pointing at you in malls, mock retching and then blogging about it.   Once that is fixed, we will work on the bad old man jeans but a girl has to have priorities!