DREAMING OF BIGGER THINGS...

Do you ever daydream about what it would be like to win the lottery?  It is a fun exercise to play when the work doldrums gets you down.  Here is my wish list:

$50,000 Lottery win
- $25K to retirement savings
- $25K to retiring all debt
with the resulting lovely tax refund that would come from my deposit to retirement savings, that would go on my mortgage

$100,000 Lottery win
- $25K to retirement savings
- $25K to retiring all debt
- $50K to mortgage (that would take YEARS! off)

$1,000,000 Lottery win (this one is fun...)
- mortgage gone
- debt gone
- retirement savings caught up
- $25 k in home improvements - new appliances, redo kitchen, redo front stairs, new floors
- $600K in investments
- $100K in an educational trust for nieces and nephews

I would still have to work with all of the above but the fear of eating cat food in my old age would go away.  Anything over $1,000,000 would just mean nicer shoes, more savings, maybe a new house but really, it would just mean the freedom to make some fun choices.  
Try it some time - it is a really fun exercise to do when the blahs get you down!

Enjoy!!

GOALS

I am procrastinator - like no one you have ever known.  If I don't want to do something, I will find any reason not to do it.  My procrastination is at an Olympic level....However, I have reached a new low with my procrastination and it is affecting a number of areas of my life - mainly my weight and my finances.  How do I change a life-long habit of procrastination - I am going to set some reasonable goals to start with milestones and once those goals are reached, set some new ones.  Also, I have always been a big believer of write down your goals and look at it often - this helps to keep you accountable, if only to yourself. Here goes....

Weight
- back to the gym, with the target of 3 times per week
- cut the crap (mainly sugar) out of my diet
- wear my FitBit again to track my steps and exercise
- first weight loss goal - 10 lbs
- no booze during the week so that I sleep better
- try and eat a small breakfast in the morning - even if I eat it at work

Finances
- stop buying my lunch every day
- give myself an allowance every pay
- stop buying stuff I don't need
- speak to a financial counselor

Maybe, just maybe by writing these first steps down, I will be better than I have been in the past.  All I know is that I need to make these changes in my life for my own good and my mental health.  I may not make these goals every week, but at least it is a start.  The big 50 is looming and I don't want to start my 2nd act of my life with these same bad habits I have always had.  

LOOKING FOR SOMEONE SPECIAL...

Dear Universe,

In the spirit of putting it all out there and going after what I want, here is what I would like in a future partner:

1. Smart – doesn't have to have an off the charts IQ but no one wants to be with an idiot
2. Funny – doesn't need to be a comedian but be able to find the humour in most situations.  Be able to laugh at himself. 
3. Kind
4. Financially stable/successful
5. Can communicate his feelings/thoughts without me having to hitch an F-150 to them and drag them out of him
6. Is a happy person – more positive than negative, good perspective on life.
7. Able to be a partner
8. Decent relationship with ex – doesn’t have to be best friends but should be able to talk/work things thru without lawyers and/or screaming matches
9. Loves his children and has a good relationship with them
10. Able to prioritize – not just work and responsibilities, but the people  in his life.  If he has kids, they are always a priority but able to make me feel like one as well. 
11. Tall enough – doesn’t need to be 6’ 4”, but I would prefer not shorter than me without high heels
12. Affectionate
13. Strength of character
14. Have ethics and a sense of justice
15. Roots for the underdog – doesn’t have to be all the time but sometimes is good
16. Be able to stand up for himself – even if his opinion is the unpopular one
17. Good kisser
18. Good in bed
19. A dog person
20. Good with families
21. Good with people with disabilities
22. Loves to travel
23. Open to adventure
24. Open mind
25. Is ok with my crazy, demanding job
26. Has a life of his own, friends of his own  and wants the same for  me.  
27. Doesn’t sweat the small stuff – we all do occasionally but has enough life experience to know when to fish or cut bait. 
28. Wants to get married again
29. Knows what he wants and goes for it
30. Can keep a secret/be discreet
31. Has dealt with his issues from previous relationships and knows himself. 
32. Is not ugly – please let him not be ugly.  I know that this is really shallow, but come on, I have to look at this face for the rest of my life.  I would like it to be somewhat attractive.
33. Knows that romance, the true kind and not the Hallmark version, is incredibly hot
34. Knows how to listen

I know that this seems like a paragon of virtue but he has to be out there somewhere, someone who has most of these traits. 

Universe, thank for hearing my request.  I will continue my search until I find the one that makes my heart skip a beat and wants want I want - to love and be loved in that crazy, inconvenient, all-consuming way that real love is.  

HELLO...IS THIS STILL ON? IS ANYONE OUT THERE?

I took a break because I felt like I didn't have anything left to say but what I have found, is that I need a place to put some thoughts.  So here I am, 4 years older and hopefully wiser, and still needing to quiet the noise in my head.  

So much has changed and yet nothing has changed.  I guess that is life.  

Here we go again...

Diane aka DiDi