The Sorority

A LETTER TO MY YOUNGER SELF

2011-03-10T14:17:00.000-05:00

A letter to my younger self

I have been thinking about this a lot – what would I do different if I could go back and do it all over again, or what do I have now that I wish I had back then…so I thought I would take a moment to write to my younger self

Dear Younger self,

This is the older version of your wanting, if in some way to go back in time and have a do-over on some experiences – mainly high school and some of my twenties. But since that is not likely to happen, here is what I wish I could tell you from the future…

Ignore the bitches in high school. I know that you think that they matter but they really don’t. Mean girls are not, in any way better than you.
Exercise – it really is important and a good habit to cultivate.
Use sunscreen every damn day.
Never, ever let any boy make you feel that you have to do something you want to do. You get to decide what you want to do with your body and when and with who. Any boy who does not accept your answer and continues to pressure you is an ass and is not deserving of your time or affection. It does not matter how cute he is or how popular. Also no matter what he says he will not die if he does not get into your pants.
Remember that you are smart and never let anyone let you feel that you are not.
Math, the complicated kind with lots of letters and symbols – will never be your strong suit and that is OK. There are lots of ways to be smart and doing complicated equations in your head is just one of them. However, it is kind of important so ask for help or get a tutor.
Your sense of humour will get you through just about anything.
Find something that you love to do and go for it. Don’t let fear hold you back from trying new things.
Always try to make the best decision for you at the time. Should this decision contravene what someone else wants to do with you or have you do for them, have the strength to do you what is important to you.
Learn a 2^nd language.
Be yourself at all times.
Know that you are always enough. You don’t have to do more or be more or try harder to make anyone happy.
When you have sex for the first time – it is not like a Harlequin Romance. This is not to say that it is not fun or great – but the books can be a bit misleading.
Travel. And not to the all inclusive kind of place, although those are fun but to far off places that you read about in books. See as much of this world as you possibly can so that you know that you live in a truly great country. There is no feeling like that of getting on a plane and looking forward to an amazing vacation and there is also no feeling like that of coming home.
Loving someone else is the best gift you can give yourself and also the greatest risk you can ever take. You grow when you love someone else and even though you will get hurt, you learn something with every relationship. Take the risk – it is worth it.
Most importantly – love who you are and have fun.

You will go onto have great friends and experiences and have a great life. You will be loved and be heartbroken but you will survive and thrive. You will find in yourself abilities that you would never have imagined that you would have and do things that will amaze yourself. You get one shot at this life and the best advice I can give you is to enjoy every damn moment. You should always remember that remember that “Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out.

With love,

Your future, older self

WHAT 2010 TAUGHT ME...

2011-01-10T11:22:00.002-05:00

Being that 2010 has been the year of the most change ever in my life it has also been the year that has taught me the most about myself. So what did I learn last year – here goes…

Change does not kill you. It may make you feel damn uncomfortable and/or make you wish for death but in the end, you don’t die from it.
That I hate the saying “that which does not kill you makes you stronger”. I was pretty damn strong before and people saying that to me all the damn time made me want to kill THEM.
Also, I hate the phrase that ‘time heals all wounds’. For the record – never say that to a recently separated woman. Time gives you the needed distance from your warring emotional state to get perspective and objectivity. Eventually you start to heal but when I was 2 weeks post conversation with Wilson, all I wanted to do was punch people when they said that to me.
Divorce is effing ugly. No way around it on that one. However, staying in a marriage where your husband no longer loves you is even uglier. And as ugly as my divorce was, I am grateful that it was just me and Wilson and that we did not have kids that had to go thru this with us.
I have learned that there is no end to the kindness of friends and family. When the chips are down and you feel like you are just going to sit down in the middle of the road and go no further because your legs won’t carry you, they come along and carry you for a while until you can walk on your own again. Because of these amazing people in my life, I was able to find my way back to being a ‘me’ from a ‘we’ and do so with a fair amount of grace. I know that without them, I would not have been able to do this without the help of some little blue pills. And for that, I am forever grateful.
Pretty shoes ALWAYS make me feel better.
Divorce is not the worst thing that can happen to you. It may feel like it at the time but all it does is make you split the stuff in your house and pay a lawyer. The only thing that died was your marriage - and for that I am grateful. My parents, family and friends are all still alive and healthy and so am I.
Love is truly blind and divorce reveals all. It is amazing to see what becomes of the person that you loved (and I am sure that Wilson would say the same about me) thru this process.
I learned that even though you divorce someone, you never wish them ill. I loved Wilson truly, madly and deeply. That love really doesn’t go away - it just kind of mutates into something indefinable. Oddly enough I never hated him - my girlfriends do enough for 10 people and that is kind of funny for me. I no longer love him as I did but I don’t want bad things to happen to him. Truthfully – that one kind of surprised me a bit. Doesn’t mean that I don’t think he is an ass, but I don’t want him to be a hurt, maimed or dead ass.
I have learned that nothing lasts forever.
I have learned that marriage is a living, breathing entity that needs daily care. While there are days, weeks, months where it seemingly is going so well that it takes care of itself – that is when it needs the most care. Because if you take are of your marriage when the times are the best, it will pay off in spades when you hit a rough patch.
Change is inevitable.
Change for the most part is good – cleans out the old, the dark corners, the musty smell. No one really likes to go into those dark corners – you have to face the demons that live there, the truth that in fact, you helped to create mess, the dark corners, the musty smell. Hopefully you learn enough thru the change to recognize when you are doing it again and stop it or if you are really smart, to never do it again.
The only way your marriage can survive is if you both change in your marriage – at roughly the same pace – and acknowledge each other’s changes. Nobody stays the same person forever and if we don’t stay the same, how can we expect our marriages to remain static.
I don’t need to be rescued or saved or protected. I do need to love and be loved, cherish and be cherished and care and be cared for – and knowing this makes me even surer that I will meet someone who feels the same way. I am not sure why – I just know that I will. That is what sustains me through this dating journey I am on.
I used to be afraid of trying – now my motto is ‘feel the fear, do it anyway’. Fear used to stop me from trying, doing, changing. Now, I am going to try and I may fail spectacularly or I am succeed just as spectacularly. Who knows but I will never know unless I try. So this year I am going to jump out of a plane, get SCUBA certified and who knows what else. Look out world - here I come!
That I am a strong, confident woman. I always knew that but now, after learning the above, I am unstoppable. And that, is the best thing I have learned EVER!

So what did you learn in 2010?

STILL HERE

2011-01-06T15:20:00.000-05:00

Work = Crazy times but wanted to wish you a wonderful 2011 Internet! Here is to a better year for all of us - Lord knows we all deserve it!

Back at you once this craziness calms down!

ODDS AND ENDS...

2010-12-13T12:05:00.001-05:00

So far, so good on the Christmas spirit this year. Am feeling very positive and up beat - perhaps this has something to do with having my shopping done and wrapped this year - in record time!

Toronto got hit by its first (!) round of crappy weather this weekend. Raining during the day and then snow and it all froze. So consequently, I skiied down the driveway this morning, in my high heels no less all while screaming and making the neighbours laugh. I managed to stay on my feet but just barely. God I hate winter and yet I continue to live where we suffer through this season for the better part of 5 damn months. I should not complain considering what is happening in the midwest - are you enjoying being snowed in Muffy?

Work is busy but good and I am off to Denver for New Years again this year to visit wonderful friends. The NBB is hanging in and keeping me company and all that I love are healthy and happy. All in all, a much better end to my year than beginning and I feel that 2011 is going to be my year!

And no, I have not yet had a cocktail today so my holiday glow is not wine induced...yet!

ARTHUR AND ME

2010-12-06T16:58:00.001-05:00

I am not sure how to write this without sobbing my guts out but my life of being a dog mommy and having the sweetest brown dog love me back has come to a close. Wilson decided that sharing custody of our boy was more than he could handle going forward and I had to make a choice - either I take him or he takes him but no more sharing. As my living situation is still up in the air - I am trying to find a place to live that works for my job and budget - I cannot take him now and taking him away from his daddy, the only home he has ever known, his friends, dog walker and all that he holds dear at some point in the future is so not something I can live with.

Wilson is Arthur's favourite human and to be a dog loved by him will give Arthur a very good life - filled with long walks, treats, sleeps in the big bed and more love than one dog could ever dream of. As a dog mommy, all I want for him is to have a long life, filled with love and fun and my Arthur will have that in spades with his daddy.

I am not sure how to deal with this hole in my heart that feels like the size of the Grand Canyon. For the first time in years, there will be no dog treats under the Christmas tree, no crazy dog antics or long walks on Christmas morning. I will miss the morning snuggles, puppy kisses and having a dog head in my lap at the end of a long day. Arthur came along after losing my beloved Maggie and filled my life with laughter and so much love.

So good bye my brown boy - know that you mama will always love you and have a place in her heart for you. My Arthur is irreplaceable and my love for him is the forever kind.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

2010-11-25T09:00:00.000-05:00

To all my American friends both virtual and real. May you enjoy your friends, family and turkey and have nothing but good things to be thankful for!

GIVING THANKS!

2010-11-24T15:20:00.000-05:00

I know that the Thanksgiving that is about to be celebrated in the 50 states that make up the USA is not my Thanksgiving being a Canadian girl and all - but I am sitting here, writing and giving some BIG thanks right now.

Wilson has agreed to the settlement amount and within 2-3 weeks, I will be a legally separated woman. I know that sounds like a weird thing to be thankful for but after this crazy, chaotic year - to have this huge. looming issue come to a close so that I can face 2011 on my own terms is massive for me.

So today internet, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, here is just some of what I am thankful for:

- this crazy, chaotic year - without it I would never have found out how strong I really am
- my new job - for being a good change for me
- friends - both virtual and real - I am a better person because of you and them
- family - they are truly a safe place for me to land and accept me for who I am
- love - while it may not be the love of one person right now, I am so lucky to have so much love in my life.
- hope - for 2011 to be better, for love, for whatever comes my way
- this blog - my safe, anonymous place where I can get rid of the thoughts that rattle around my brain
- Diet Coke - mmmmm mmmmm good!
- pretty shoes - nuff said
- Arthur - while he is now Wilson's exclusively and I can no longer see or touch him - he is still my brown boy and I will love him forever. There will be another dog soon but none will ever be like Arthur!

I am a lucky, loved girl who is thankful for all that has come my way this year - the good, the bad and yes even the ugly. Without it all, I would never know how far I have come or what I am capable of. So here I sit - a happy girl giving thanks for it all!

NON BOYFRIEND BOYFRIEND

2010-11-24T11:52:00.000-05:00

So the Practice Date and I have continued to hang out and have some fun. We have had lots of good conversation mixed with some really great kisses. I think we are just very casual and taking it date by date. He on the other hand is a discusser of things - most particularly us and our situation. Shortly after our 5th or 6th date - he gives me the face and then says "so what is this thing we have going on here?" Cue stroke/heart attack and a bad case of the cold sweats.

On about our 3rd date, I made it very clear that I was not looking for a relationship, boyfriend or anything serious. I am barely 7 months out of a long term relationship/marriage and just trying to figure out how to date and not be someone's someone right away. I am a girl who just wants to have some fun and if that fun also includes time with a cute boy - I am VERY ok with that. However, please do not use the word boyfriend, relationship or anything else that smacks of something that will end in some kind of ugly manner. And please oh please do not use the dreaded g word (ACK - girlfriend) to describe me to your friends. Been there, done that and am paying the legal bills for it.

However, Practice Date boy likes to talk about things. He is one of those upfront, out in the open boys that I always thought were an urban myth. He just wants to understand what I want from him - because for a no strings attached, no commitment, nothing really to deep affair, we are spending a fair amount of time together and he is confused. Damn him and his ability to communicate. Why can't he just leave this shiz under the rug as we WASPy folks tend to do. Why can't he let me be all contradictory (don't want any strings but like your company and make plans with you)- I do it in a very cute and charming way. Instead we end up discussing it and my freaked feelings regarding relationships at this moment in my life. Praise Jebus that he cute and funny otherwise I would have run for the hills faster than an out of shape girl really should. So we talk and talk - and pretty much end up in the same place but it is all out in the open and one of us feels better for the conversation (hint - this person is not me!). He seems to be OK with where I am and likes spending time with me - and is willing so far to leave the labels out of the equation. Again, the cute and fun seriously weighs in his favour here.

It has taken me time and a lot of effort but I have managed to glue the shattered pieces of my heart back together - but the glue is still wet and my heart - well she is still very fragile. Risking this carefully glued-back-together heart on a 'serious' romance scares me more than I can say. However, I have learned this year to never say never and stay open to the possibility of anything so here I stand, at the edge of the cliff but just don't have the faith yet that my chute will open and it will all be OK.

So here I am - scared shitless of this cute, funny boy, with his 2 kids, mixed up crazy life and his talkative ways who wants to be my non boyfriend boyfriend. And just between you and me internet - I am having a really great time.

MY WISH LIST

2010-11-04T16:52:00.000-04:00

I have always believed that if you really want something, write it down and then send it out to the Universe. I also believe that you can’t just wish for stuff and then POOF! magically find someone who is everything on it without working on yourself either. So that is what I am doing in this time of flux – really figuring out what I like, want, need so that when the next great guy comes along, I will be ready to take the leap.

So universe, here is hoping that you are listening because here is what I would like to find in a boy:

Honest – with himself and with me
Caring
Kind
Financially responsible/successful – I am not talking millionaire here but someone who has been able to grow their career as I have and has found success
Smart
Loyal
Has a sense of humour – finds me funny, makes me laugh, gets the overall joke in life, sees humour in every day things, can laugh at himself
Tall enough that I can wear high heels – I am a girl and I love pretty shoes - nuff said
Emotionally intelligent/good sense of self/comfortable in his skin – knows who he is and is OK with that, won't be a pushover with me, will stand up to me if Iam out of line but will also stand up for me
Adventurous – I don't mean crazy adventurer cliff diver but willing to try something once even if he might not be good at it. Has a zest for life and living
Not fat – I am no hard bodied girl and I am not asking for a super duper fit guy but someone who takes care of themself, somewhat active and is not a couch potato all of the time.
Loves dogs – Anyone who wants a life with me will have to be used to the fact that there will always be a dog in the house and had better understand the responsibility that goes with that
Love of travel – I love it and want to continue this throughout my life not as a tourist but as a traveler
Decent relationship with ex – especially if there are children involved. Divorce is not easy ever but if you chose to have children with your former spouse, you have to rise above the crap and develop a new relationship that can be at cordial.
Respect – for himself, other people, women
Confident – nothing is sexier than a confident man
Passionate – about life but also about me. Not to be too inappropriate here but wants to have a healthy, active life in the bedroom
Affectionate – holding hands, kissing, hugs – touch is very important to me
Cares about the little things in life – I don’t need him to remember the day we first kissed but remembers when I have important stuff coming up and asks about it.
Communicator – not easy but you have to be willing to talk about anything – easy or difficult.
Willingness to be vulnerable – everyone struggles with this but I do believe that when you love someone and trust them enough to be in a relationship, you have to be willing to show them your best and worst. You have to be willing to trust your partner enough to show those parts of you that no one else sees
Non judgemental – as much as humans can be – no biases or bigotry allowed
Gets relationships - understands that they are a marathon not a sprint and won't bolt for the door when the going gets rough
Has figured out a balance in his life between work, family, friends, etc
Has been able to establish good friend relationships - I have amazing friends who mean the world to me and would want the same for my partner

But most of all, that he wants a real relationship with me and that he gets that a real relationship is so many things all at once - joyous, crazy, passionate, amazing, trying, best thing, knee buckling, frustrating - and yet would not have it any other way. Spending your life with someone and sharing all that goes with it is one of the toughest yet most rewarding things you can do and I want someone who understands that and is willing to take the leap with me.

So all in all - that is what I am looking for and fingers crossed that I might find someone who has most of these qualities and that I am most of what is on his list too. Until that time, I will keep working on me and having fun while I do it. Life is too short to dwell on what is missing when you have so much good right in front of you.

HI THERE! REMEMBER ME?

2010-11-01T13:16:00.001-04:00

So it seems that I took a wee break from blogging and in that time much has happened…

- I have learned that while love is blind, divorce is all-seeing. I had a horrible conversation with Wilson about money. It was the kind of conversation that made me wonder what I ever saw in him. I know that this is bound to happen but after that conversation, this girl who loved that boy so deeply wonders where the boy is that she fell in love with? Then, maybe he never really existed in the way that I saw him and this part of him was there all along, I just never had to deal with him in that way. Realizing that was very sad and also freeing because once this is over, I will never have to deal with him again.

- We had another horrible conversation about Arthur – our beloved dog. The intention all along was to share him once it all got settled because we both love him and he loves us both. After the above conversation, Wilson decided it was time to share that he no longer wants to share Arthur and either I take him or he takes him but no more visitation. Cue my broken heart and many tears but in the end this will be the best decision for me. It will completely cut the cord between Wilson and I which is for the best but to never see Arthur again is something that seems unbelievable to me still. I know that he will be loved for all of his life and that is all any dog owner could ever want but it still hurts like a mutha!

- DiDi had a date – and a good one with Practice Date boy or as I described him to the BFFs - the Basset Hound. Somehow, he never got the message that I was not really interested in seeing him again and would send texts or call to keep in touch. Cut to DiDi travelling for the new job and I get a text from him that says he knows the first date was a dud and he would like a do-over. I had to give him points for persistence (or stalking) and for admitting that the first date sucked and that he would like to try again. Out we did go and he left the Basset Hound persona behind. He was fun, charming, flirty – all the things you want on a date. After having a good time playing pool, we leave the bar and are going to go to another location when he planted a kiss on me that surprised the hell out of me – in a good way. I never in my life expected the Basset Hound to kiss like that! Needless to say, it was a much better experience than the first one and he closed the deal and we are going out again. Completely took me by surprise in such a good way and that has not happened to me in a long time.

- The new job is great and am really enjoying the change. Great team and boss have done wonders to my outlook.

So that is me to you in a nutshell. Still figuring this single again, getting divorced, dating, moving forward life of mine out but am now enjoying the process a lot more. Life these past few months has been an eye opener for sure but in the end, my life will be better and I am all for better these days.

CH CH CH CHANGES!

2010-09-15T11:36:00.002-04:00

It seems that 2010 is the year that kicked my ass as well as the year that has changed everything for me. I have changed my marital status, my address, my commute to work (twice – but more on that later) and my perspective. There was a point at the start of all of the changes that I wanted it all to stop and change back to the way it used to be but I have learned that there is no stopping the tide of change. As they say, you either roll with the change or it will roll over you.

So change I did – on many fronts but the most exciting and current is my job change. Earlier this year, the work girls and I had sat around and said what were the industries that we had not worked in that we would like to try for our next job. I said banking – for really no particular reason other than it always seemed interesting to me. Also, because in my city, the major banks head offices are all in the heart of the city and I was in a job whose head office was located deep in suburbia. I am at my heart a city girl not meant to live in the suburbs. We finish our lunch and I never gave our conversation another thought.

Fast forward to June and a friend who is looking for a job is on a job site and sees a posting for a position she thinks is tailor-made for me. She calls me to see if I am interested and my stock answer is I am always interested – then she sends me the posting and lo and behold it is for a position with a bank. So I give my resume a little spit and polish, whip up a cover letter and send it off. I fully expected this to be a ‘gotta do our due diligence and post this but we have a great internal candidate’ position and lo and behold the bank’s HR department called me. We have the standard HR chat and then I do not hear from them for almost 3 weeks. I am now convinced that they just had to go through the motions and have given the job to an internal candidate. Then one day – WHAM – they called and we scheduled a face-to-face with the person to whom I would be reporting if I got the job as well as HR. I go and it is a good conversation and I feel very positive about it, send my thank you note and wait to hear from them. 2 more weeks go by and nothing…At this point, I have a full plate of stuff from my current job and am not really worried about it but just want to get it over with one way or the other. Then I get the call for the 3^rd interview – and this one would be with the department VP as well as the person who had the position before me. And this interview is….different. I cannot get a read on whether I am giving the right answers, wrong answers, have pissed them off or impressed them. For the 2^nd time in my life I walk out of an interview and have no idea if I got the job or not. I go home, pour myself a large glass of wine and play trucks with my nephew. I was supposed to hear by the end of the week and hear nothing – am convinced that I do not have the job. Large quantities of wine are consumed again.

4pm on a Monday afternoon and my cell phone rings – it is the bank calling and wanting to book an appointment to discuss my meetings. Now is good for me I tell them – convinced that they had called the winning candidate already and were just getting around to those who did not get the job. We discuss my interview and then they tell me that lo and behold the job is mine. NO EFFING WAY is what I want to yell but manage to keep my composure. I do however, almost fall off of the chair but again, manage to keep my ass on the chair – but just barely.

We chat, discuss the offer and other details and they send me a package of info for me to read and use a resource to make my decision. 4 days later, in the midst of packing up my old life at my old house and with a brown dog’s head in my lap, I call the bank and accept their offer. 3 weeks later I started at my new job – at a bank. And if all that wasn’t good enough – after I gave my resignation serendipity kicked in and revealed to me that this was the right decision for me to make and I didn’t have to wait 1, 5 or 10 years to learn that I made the right decision. So here I am, at my new job, with new colleagues and a new commute and am very happy with my decision. I am so glad that I decided to roll with the change and see where I ended up. And this time, I ended up exactly where I should be. Yay for me!

TODAY

2010-09-14T11:37:00.000-04:00

Getting divorced is a very weird thing. In the beginning you never think you will feel normal again and you feel as if you are living in some weird bubble state where everything you love is being held just out of your reach. You feel so disconnected from what was your life and all that you held dear and the only thing this feels real is the overwhelming, crushing sadness and fear that blanket you each and every day.

After a while, you get some distance and you start to feel your way back to you – almost like your nerves regenerating after a serious injury. You go about your business every day, going through the motions yet it in many ways, you feel like a you need to re-learn everything about your life again. You need to relearn how to go about your life as a me not a we. It all feels so odd but you feel good because you can see your progress and anything feels better than the blanket of sadness you were wearing.

At some point, you realize that you will be OK. You have moved forward enough that the paperwork that you have to do to end your marriage doesn’t scare you anymore so you do it. You know that you have to make big decisions about your life, on your own but you know that you can and you will. You know that you need to get out and meet new people and expand your circle of friends so you make steps to do that. And finally you realize that you liked being married, part of a we and that you were good at it and want that again so you prepare yourself for the next phase of your life – single and dating.

But then, as you realize that the day is coming closer when the legalities will be all done and all that you cherished is no longer within your grasp – you have this overwhelming feeling of melancholy hit you and it takes your breath away because you thought you were past this. You thought you have moved on enough that maybe, just maybe you had moved past those feelings and had moved into the new me part of your life and all would be shiny, new and happy. All you can think at this point is "Damn, I thought I was past this".

But I realized today that all of those feelings coexist together – happy and sad, excited and scared – and it is OK. Maybe the only way to get through this is when I wake up say to myself – “Today I feel….” and just accept that it is OK to be sad or lonely or depressed or happy or excited or scared or any combination of those or different emotions on any given day as long as I don’t let myself wallow in sadness or cover up a part of me under a blanket of fake happiness. So today I am sad that my marriage is ending and that I will never again be Wilson’s wife and that we will not grow old together as I had dreamed. This is how I feel today…tomorrow, who knows. And in someway, accepting this has made it easier. And today, I will take anything that makes this journey easier.

YOU JUST NEVER KNOW...

2010-08-31T10:18:00.002-04:00

This journey of mine has been an experience to say the least - but one that has taught me a lot so far. The one thing that it has taught me is that I am a very lucky girl. Am lucky to have such amazing friends - both in person and virtually. So many people have reached out to and touched me in ways that they will never know the profound effect it had on my life. To have the support of such amazing friends has been so wonderful that there are really no words to express my gratitude.  You may never know what your support has meant to me but I am here to tell you that I would not be here if it wasn't for it. To know that many people have circled around you, hands outstretched to help you in any way that they can is truly an amazing feeling. I sit here and say thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I am about to make a job change - and it feels good.  It is back in the city, in an industry in which I have never worked, and I am excited about the fresh start. It feels like my life is my own again - and I have to say that it feels really damn good.

So Internet, my dear, dear friend - let's all hold hands and jump into the next chapter together. I'm ready if you are and I can't wait!

GOOD DAY!

2010-08-25T14:05:00.000-04:00

Much has happened in DiDi divorce land - all my paperwork has been submitted to my lawyer and that means that Wilson and I will be officially separated very soon. There was a time not so long ago that typing that line would have sent me into a corner, rocking back and forth and wailing like there was no tomorrow. Now I type that line and am filled with hope and anticipation. Hope for the next chapter of my life - whatever that maybe and anticipation of my home that will be all my own. I can feel the excitement growing in me just thinking about paint colours and arranging my furniture. Also - I have the nervous but excited tingles in my stomach about finding romance again.

It seems that time has marched on but in the wake of all of this I have figured out that I will be OK. And Internet - I have to tell, that feels really damn good!

PRACTICE DATE

2010-08-24T12:03:00.000-04:00

So I went on my first date in 8 years. That's right - 8 YEARS!!! I cannot believe that it has been that long since I started dating Wilson and no one else. Part of me just wants to meet the next person that I will be with ASAP so that I do not have to do this dating thing again - because seriously, who wants to date anyway. In many ways dating is like a visit to the gynecologist - intensely personal and yet not, you expose yourself in some ways and cover up other parts of yourself up. I have never been a big fan of dating, never did it very well and find it a huge pain in the ass in oh so many ways.

Anyhoo - out on a date I did go and well...let's just say it was meh. He is a nice guy but told me waaaayy too much about his life, his ugly, ugly divorce, the parental aliention that is going on with his kids and how he needs to take medication to sleep. I know that it has been awhile since I have been out on a date but I really didn't think that I should know that kind of stuff within 30 minutes of meeting him. He is a nice guy but he wants a RELATIONSHIP and I am so not there. I want to meet some new people, have some fun and not take everything so damn seriously for a while.

So I am doing my best to embrace dating and instead of hating every minute of it. I am going to try to appreciate this process and time in my life for the new opportunities and people that I will meet (please remind me of this when the I hate dating posts begin) Also another benefit - think of the blog fodder chronicalling all of my bad, not so bad and fun dates.

MUSINGS

2010-08-21T16:50:00.000-04:00

So my goal with the divorce was not to turn this blog into a place of whining, bitching and moaning about how sad/desperate/lonely my life now is - you know the usual divorce blah, blah, blah. Except the thing that I forgot about with this blog is this is where I get those thoughts out of my head that go round and round. I would come here, write about whatever was running around in my brain, and then go off and do something useful with my day.

So while I will try to not whine - I have found that I need to come back here and get something thoughts out of my head and then maybe, just maybe some other thoughts will come in and take their place. I have had some moments where I have realized how much I have grown since Wilson and I have started dating oh so long ago. I was so grateful then to have met a great guy, who had his shit together it seemed and who wanted to be with me. I recognize now, that I used to give him all or most of the credit for accomplishments in my life - paying of tax debt, saving for retirement, owning our home, etc; that he was my rescuer. I have since realized that I rescued me - with his help and support but I did the work. I dug myself out my financial mess, dusted myself off, saved my money, cleaned out my emotional baggage and became stronger along the way. That strength has come in very handy since the whole situation started.

I find though, that the hardest part of all of this is that I have lost my friend Wilson along with my husband Wilson. I miss the conversations, the discussions, his different perspective. I have other amazing friends that have truly been there and are always available to share their perspective, advice, opintion - all of which I value but right not, it is not the same. I know that this will fade in time and it has to some extent - but there are days, and today is one of them, that I miss talking to him. Wine seems to help a lot with this one - in fact, wine helps with much of the divorce journey.

Eventually, some day, in the future I do want to get to the place where, as Elizabeth Gilbert says in Eat Pray Love that everytime I think of him, I will send him light and love. For the record - I am so not there yet. All I want for him right now is for him to die alone, thinking of me, wishing that he had never let me go and knowing that I am thin, happy, married to a lovely, wealthy man with whom I travel the world and who never bitches about how many pair of shoes I buy. Sooooo - still a long way from sending him light and love - but hopefully it will come some day. And if not - that is OK too.

So those are the thoughts that I needed to get out of my head for today. Thanks Internet for letting me dump these on you - it really helped. I will try not to dump to much but thanks for being there.

MAD ABOUT MAD MEN

2010-07-21T16:08:00.000-04:00

Mad Men premieres this Sunday after making us wait far too long for more Don! There are not words to express my love for Don Draper. I know that he is a bad man, a cheater, a liar - not nice to women, blah blah blah. However - I DO NOT CARE!

However dear Internet, I have a problem. I have left my former home which carried AMC on our cable supplier and it was also available on demand - and have moved in with family until this divorce mess gets settled and I can find my own mortgage to pay. Here is the bad news part - my families cable provider does not carry AMC! ACK!!! HOW AM I TO GO WITHOUT MY DON? Better yet - how will HE survive without me? My only hope is that iTunes will carry Season 4, episode by episode - otherwise Internet, I am coming over to your house on Sunday nights around 9:45 pm to watch. All I ask is that you only talk to me on the commercials.

I'M STILL STANDING...

2010-07-13T17:12:00.000-04:00

Dear Internets

I am still here - but just don't want to turn this place of fun and frivolity into a dark place filled with whining and talk of divorce. I am kind of creatively stunted right now but I know that once the final bits and pieces of this process fall into place, it will all come back.

I am reading you all still and will be back with new stories of my single (again) life, dating after 40 and sharing a dog with an ex-husband (I cannot give that brown face up! -- Arthur's that is). Wilson was a huge part of my life and I need to figure out how to fill up the space that he took up with other good things and will share those adventures with you.

Will update more once the creative juices start flowing! Know that I miss you all dear internets - more than you know!

ON A LIGHTER NOTE...

2010-04-14T11:29:00.000-04:00

I am down 12 pounds! As far as I can tell, this is the only upside to starting separation and divorce proceedings but I will take it. I have not been on a date in 8 effing years but I do remember that looking good does help you get 2nd dates. Having a damn spare tire and a flabby ass do not help in that catagory so the fact that they are disappearing does help my battered ego.

And another good thing - since I didn't get rid of some of my favourite clothes from 2 years ago when I could fit into them, it is like I have new clothes again...without having to go shopping and spend money that is now earmarked for a lawyer.

12 pounds down - here is hoping another 10 pounds to go! Bring on the skinny jeans!

A VICTORY OF SORTS...

2010-04-09T14:03:00.000-04:00

Just when I was feeling my worst – unpretty, unlovable, un-everything (it was an excellent pity party - remind to invite you next time!) – I tell a friend in the office of my current situation as I have to change Wilson as my beneficiary on everything and she tells me that she is in the process of divorcing her husband as well and their situation is VERY ugly filled with restraining orders, police visits, lawyers, lawyers and more lawyers. This is when I realized that I need to be grateful – just because my marriage is coming to an end – I do not have to worry about my safety EVER!

I realized that while this may not be what I want and am worried about the future and how I will afford all the bills that are going to be coming my way, dating after 40 and all those normal post divorce things – I am not worried for my safety. I know that I will survive this and come out the other side OK. I know that I will figure it all out, with the help of amazing friends and family, and I will be OK – better than OK.

Life is messy – but it is the mess and the cleaning up of the mess that shows you what you are made of and how strong you can be. So far today I haven’t cried at work – and that is a victory!

AND SO IT BEGINS...

2010-04-07T16:36:00.001-04:00

So as previously mentioned, I am at this moment, only technically married to Wilson - and just writing that sentence is surreal to me. He has been such a huge part of my life for 8 years that I can't really comprehend that we will not be growing old together.

The process has started - lawyers, real estate assesments, financial discussions, Arthur discussions and we are being very mature about things (so far), but still I am overwhelmed at times with memories, what-would have been wishes and dreams. And to tell you the truth - that really sucks!

I do know that the next phase of my life is all about me and that is REALLY hard to comprehend. Having been a 'we' for so long, being back to 'me' is seemingly unfathomable right now. I am trying not to get overwhelmed by the massive amount of changes that are a-coming but right now I feel like I am lost on a raft in the ocean being buffeted by very large waves.

However, I have learned one thing in this process - I really liked being someone's wife and hope with all of my badly bruised heart that it will happen again. Right now I am trying to take the words of Dr. Seuss to heart - Don't cry because it is over, Smile because it happened.

Still - should anyone want to come and kick Wilson in the shin for me, I wouldn't say no!

HELLO OLD FRIEND -IT HAS BEEN A WHILE...

2010-04-04T16:33:00.002-04:00

Hello old friend - it has been a while. I had many posts started and then everything changed over here in Sorority land. It seems that while I was happily married to Wilson, Wilson was not so happily married to me. I am not sure how I got here but here is where I am - broken hearted with a broken marriage.

I thought that I did it right - waited until I found a good guy, fell in love and then got married. To me, this was for life and no matter what I thought we could handle anything. I thought that Wilson felt the same way - but it seems that I thought wrong.

So here I am - not sure how I got here and right now the view sucks but here is hoping that it all gets better soon!

MERRY MERRY

2009-12-25T20:11:00.000-05:00

CHRISTMAS FROM OUR HOUSE TO YOURS!

MAKING MY LIST, CHECKING IT TWICE

2009-12-15T05:57:00.000-05:00

In the spirit of the season, I have made my list and checked it twice, so I thought I would send it to you dear Internet:

Christmas gifts purchased - done
abovementioned gifts wrapped - done
tree purchased - done
abovementioned tree decorated - done
begin making menus for inlaw visits - done
purchasing of crap white wine for family - done (Seriously, Wilson's mother and grandmother drink Black Tower - my teeth hurt just writing this sentence) - done
house decorated - done
Arthur's Christmas collar and leash dug out - done
annual argument with Wilson about how much Christmas costs and that you can't abdicate all shopping responsibilities and then bitch about how much money is spent (when in reality it was not a lot, but we have done a couple of big projects on the house and have line of credit debt right now that freaks him out - but then all debt freaks him out!) especially when the presents are for his family as we draw names in my family and the limit is really low - done
take back abovementioned Christmas gifts because of aforementioned argument in which my husband was an idiot - done Yup, I took most of the presents back!
make up from said argument - done
laugh about argument - done

How goes your Christmas prep?

THREE YEARS AGO TODAY...

2009-12-09T11:16:00.000-05:00

On a beach in Philipsburg, St. Maarten, Wilson and said I do. While we may make each other crazy sometimes, there is no other person on this earth that I can imagine spending the rest of my life with. As I said to him this morning - 3 years down, 47 to go! And I can't wait! Happy Anniversary Baby!

PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME INTERNET!

2009-12-03T13:46:00.000-05:00

I am back - have been sick and now work is INSANE! I have 3 posts that I have started and want to finish and most of all I miss you all!

Wilson is out with the boys drinking to excess on Saturday night - my plan is to settle down with a bottle of wine and update! Won't that be fun - reading the ramblings of a drunken 40 something. I know that you are all waiting with bated breath!

Chat soon!

PS - You all have really nice shoes today and your hair looks great! Have you lost weight because that outfit makes you look extra thin today! I heard that flattery gets you everywhere so I thought I would try it. Let me know if it works!!

ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS...

2009-11-23T21:33:00.000-05:00

If loving Donny Osmond is wrong, I don't won't to be right!

I know, I know, I have been absent but I have lots of excuses:
- travel, travel and more travel. Seriously, I was in China
- sick, sick and more sick. Not kidding, heinous cold
- Jet lag - spend 20 hours on a flight and then try to be funny or creative
- work. A significant lottery win is required to relieve me from this daily 9-5 affliction.

Anyway, just watching Dancing with the Stars and my love of Donny Osmond is still alive! If that makes me uncool, so be it!

I have many posts started and saved. Stay tuned, many posts are a-coming! Missed you all!!!

BITCH! WHINE! MOAN!

2009-10-19T22:39:00.002-04:00

The title says what I am about to do! Things I hate about business travel - in no particular order are:

jet lag
hotel rooms that are too dark - they think it is modern and nice, I think it is stupid
shitty room service menus with no variety
small planes with people who like to talk to their seatmate - even when she has her headphones on
people who don't get the whole metal scanner thing and leave everything in their damn pockets and have to be searched- which holds up the line
people who just stand where their stuff comes out of the xray machine and block it so that those of us who also have stuff coming out can't get it until they put back on all of their layers, pick up their minutia and otherwise annoy the CRAP out of me
missing a good Sunday afternoon of football and relaxing on the couch because I had to get on a plane
when your electric toothbrush somehow gets turned on in your suitcasea and then you have to use it like a manual toothbrush for the rest of your trip
crappy hotels with plastic wrapped water glasses and shitty wine that tastes like kerosene
those who do not shower before getting on a plane. Seriously - do us all a favour - wet your body once a day, cover with soap, rinse and repeat. Your pores will thank you as will your friends, family, colleagues, random strangers on the street, fellow subway goers, plane seatmates...you get my drift!

Yeah, yeah - I know, I earn air miles with which Wilson and I can use to take a vacation except that when I get some 'not on a plane' time, I don't want to get on a damn plane!

But there is a good side to business travel - nothing beats that joy you feel when your meetings end early and you get to go home 24 hours sooner than you ever thought you would! And nothing feels better than landing at your home airport and knowing that soon, very soon you will get welcome home kisses and sleep in your own bed.

AND AWAY WE GO!

2009-10-19T00:29:00.002-04:00

Where did I leave off??? Oh yeah - a great first date. Seriously - in the world of first dates - this one was world class in my books. So I am thinking to myself - a 2nd date should be in the bag. Right? Wrong! Now, you all know the ending to our story so just play along here.

We have the great, first date - he meets my gorgeous dog, we eat ice cream - it is all pointing to date #2. I emailed the next morning to say thanks, I had a great time and it would be great to do it again. The response - lukewarm at best. As I read it my brain started gearing up for an implosion. The hell? Did I imagine the great date? This email, is of course forwarded, discussed A LOT and analyzed by many a great girlfriend.

Week 1 - much discussion amongst DiDi and girlfriends that he must be busy.

Week 2 - much discussion amongst DiDi and girlfriends that he is an ass*

Week 3-5 - DiDi has officially given up

* - this is before "He's just not that into you!"

Now, somewhere around Week 4 of no call, no follow, NOTHING - I had to go to a tradeshow and I knew that he would be there. Y'all can imagine the painstaking detail I went through to look amazing at this show. This was my attempt at "I will show you what you are giving up Wilson!" or another loose translation of this is "Eff you!"

So I got back to my life - working, walking the dog, hanging out with friends - all in all, lots of fun. One Monday morning, I come into work and there is a voicemail waiting for me. I don't know about you but I hate voicemail that is waiting for me in Monday morning - it usually means that someone has been into work on the weekend and they want to see me to dump copious amounts of work on me. However, this time it is not - it was Wilson! I am listening to the voice mail on my speaker phone and I hear his voice and I cannot pick up the phone fast enough. He is calling to ask me to a Lobster Party this weekend. FINALLY! After 5 weeks of waiting, I finally get a 2nd date. I am to call him back if I am interested. ReRe, of course, from the minute she heard Wilson's voice on the speakerphone, ran her ass over to my desk. We discussed waiting to call back to appear 'cool' but let's be clear about this - I have never been a 'Rules" girl and I never will. I wanted to go so I called him back within 10 minutes of getting that call. Date 2 booked! Let the stressing about the wardrobe begin immediatly!

Finally, after many consultations, it is determined to appear casually sexy. Don't want to look like I am trying to hard, etc. FYI - again, not sure I am a casually sexy kind of girl but I gave it my best shot. Black, sleeveless V-neck top, with casual drawstring pants and pretty shoes. Hair was flipped and makeup was light. The twice-a-day workouts also helped because I managed to lose 3 pounds before the date. So wish I could do that these days!

He picks me up - actually parks the car and comes up because he wants to see the dog! This gains him HUGE points with me because Maggie was a huge part of my life and if she liked you, it went a long way! We leave, go to the party and are the 2nd people there. I am handed a drink right away and realize very quickly that this is going to be a long drunken night and I better pace myself. More people start to arrive and at one point, Wilson is off helping our host get the lobster pots ready and I find myself surrounded by a gaggle of women who all know each other and are fairly new, first-time moms. I now know that Wilson needs jobs to do, and likes to help out at functions. In other words, he needs to feel useful. But at this point, on date #2, I did not know this - all I know is my date is no where to be found. Once the conversation in my group leaned toward potty training, breast feeding and mommy & me play groups - I excused myself and went and hid in the bathroom. Apparenly I was gone a long time because Wilson came looking for me and knocked on the bathroom door. After I explained about being Mommed to death, he kept me near him and made sure to introduce me to nice people.

Something to keep in mind here - our host Terry is known for throwing great parties. Lots of booze, etc. For some reason his wife (now ex-wife) never did any appetizers. So everyone just feasted on cocktails. Also, for some unknown reason, we never ate dinner at this lobster party until between 9 or 10 pm. I think you all get where I am going with this because when all you eat are olives and vodka for hours, a party can really get going in a BIG way. This was my 2nd date with Wilson!

Finally, at around 9:30 pm, we sit down to dinner - and yup, you guessed I am DRUNK! However, I am also in great company as my date is drunk and so is the rest of the party! We eat, flirt, laugh, flirt, pretty much everything and flirt - all fueled by my dear friend alcohol. We help with clean up and dishes and by this time, I have lost the ability to enunciate and walk in a straight line. I think it is 2:00 am, but apparenly it is only 11:00 pm. The rest of the evening's details, while a bit fuzzy, will be left to your imaginations, but suffice it to say, after that we were officially "together"!

Any hoo, we begin dating and I knew this one was different. There was no game playing - he called when he said he was going to call, wanted to see me, introduced me to his friends, met mine, walked my dog with me and became someone that I knew I wanted to spend more and more time with. I kept waiting for the shoe to fall from the sky and bonk me on the head - in other words, kept waiting for him to turn into an asshole but it never seemed to happen. Finally I realized he wasn't going to be an asshole to me because he wasn't an asshole. I had finally met a grown-up and he wanted to be with me and was very clear about this. I was falling in love and it felt good and right and true. Finally after much waiting and dating of assholes, I realized that they were just practice for the real thing.

Next installment - how do we keep the music playing?

WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?

2009-10-14T21:32:00.001-04:00

So he called! Well, really he emailed but who cares! Is there a better feeling in the world than the boy who gave you the butterflies; the za za zsu; that crazy feeling in the pit of your stomach; the heart palpitations...OK, you know what I mean - contacts you. Nope - not even a really good pedicure and y'all know how much I love a good pedi!!

We email and flirt, we call and flirt some more and then being the good sales guy that he is, he closes the deal and makes a date with me. It was a Thursday evening at a local Thai restaurant just up the street from my house. There are no embarrassing lulls in conversation, lots of laughter initated by both of us and otherwise a great evening. We decided to walk and get ice cream for dessert - both of us love it and there was a great ice cream store around the corner from the restaurant. We walk, get our cones and then were going to walk around the neighbourhood before heading for home. However, Mother Nature had other plans - she is a crafty one she is. It starts to rain and we head for his car for cover. My apartment was around the corner and I suggested that we go back there (totally innocent suggestion - I SWEAR!). We go back to my place and Wilson gets to meet the real love in my life at that time - Maggie. For some reason, this dog who never and I do mean NEVER liked anyone when she first met them, decided on the spot that Wilson was all hers. Seriously, she sniffed him, let him pet her A LOT and then laid her head on his knee - all of this before we had even kissed properly! Wilson, to his credit became a large pile of man goo because of her attention and I have always felt that I owe our relationship to her in some way. Our joke is always that Wilson met me, liked me, thought I was cute but then he met Maggie, fell in love with her and had to take me because I came with the dog. Seriously, is it bad that your dog gets ALL of the heavy petting on your first offical date?

Here is how bad my dating life was before the self-imposed man hiatus - we had a great evening of good food, laughs, easy conversation - and I was completely caught off guard by that. It had not happened to me in a long time and I was totally gobsmacked by it. So after the date, the next day, I emailed to say what a great time I had and wouldn't it be great to do it again. The email I got back was, to say the least, not encouraging...lots of work, blah, blah, blah, get together again, not sure when, will call you! In other words, a brush off, a nice one but still, a brush off. I could not believe that I was the only one who had a great date but the evidence was telling me that "he was just not that into me".

So I thought, maybe I had this great date to remind me not to give up on dating and men, just maybe going forward make better choices. In the back of my mind, I just knew that somehow we weren't finished yet. Little did I know how long I would have to wait before Wilson would make his next move.

Stay tuned!

ALONG CAME WILSON

2009-10-13T16:10:00.000-04:00

So after lots of time, I reached the age of 36 and convinced that I was never going to meet someone that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with - let along bring home to meet my large, crazy family. I decided that I was going to focus on my career, have fun with friends, enjoy my time with the dog and just have fun. To this end, there was an opportunity for a some professional development that work was willing to pay for - it was a lot of money - so I took it and had a great time. It was 4 days of networking and education and by the end of it, I was exhausted!   There was a swishy gala dinner at the end of it and while I wanted to go - there was some great entertainment - the tired half of me just wanted to go to bed.  But I dragged my ass there, got my table assignment and went in to eat and be entertained. HA!  At a dinner of 3,000 people, I get stuck with a table of world champs at boring.   At this moment, I wish more than anything, that I had stayed home.

As I got to my table, I realized that I was at a table full of suppliers who were going to talk business with me all night. No laughs, no fun - just more work. A girlfriend walked by my table and stopped to say hello - and not being shy, I begged her to save me from my boring table. Ten minutes later, she came back, told me there was a vacant seat at her table and to get my ass over there asap. Which I did in world record time.

I sat down beside my friend, said hello to everyone and then turned to my right, stuck out my hand and said "Hi, I'm DiDi". The response was "Hi, I'm Wilson." Did I know at that moment that I was sitting beside my future husband? Answer - NO! However, I was wearing a great dress that showed off my cleavage, I was VERY funny that evening and if the truth be told, I thought he was gay so I felt no pressure. That's right, I thought my future husband was gay! In my defense, I am an event planner and 98% of the men in my industry are gay. I just thought he was in the majority. We are laughing, having a great time and I thought - nice guy, of course he is gay! My friend who brought me to the table leaned over to me and whispered "I think that Wilson likes you!" My response - "Of course he does, he's gay!". To which she responded "Honey, my husband is a waiter, I know gay and that man is so NOT gay". At that point, I reapplied my lipstick, turned back to Wilson and did not talk to my girlfriend for rest of the evening. Funny enough - he went to university an hour from my home town and knew people I went to high school with. As well, 2 of his closest friends are from my home town. How is that for 6 degrees of separation!

We danced at the after party and had a great time and for the first time in a very long time, I felt actual butterflies about a boy. All I knew was that I really wanted to see him again and did not have a single clue how to make that happen.   And then he called!

Stay tuned - first date coming up!

IN THE BEGINNING...

2009-10-04T15:48:00.000-04:00

In looking back at my many entries, I realized that I never shared the story of how Wilson and I became a couple. As I think back on it, there was no meeting of eyes across a crowded room or declarations of instant love but it is still a good story. But before I tell that story, let me share with you a bit my backstory.

My twenties were pretty typical - lots of fun, trips, guys and nights out with the girls at local bars. I had lots of fun and made every bad decision about guys that you can make. I went to see "He's just not that into you" with some work girlfriends and cringed in way too many places as I made most of the typical guy mistakes that were highlighted in that movie.

Finally, after a couple of job changes I knew that I had to make some radical changes to my life. I decided (1) to find a job where I did not travel like an idiot - my previous jobs had me travelling up to 60% of my time, which led to exhaustion, no life and a near breakdown - (2) go on a man hiatus and (3) get a dog.

The right job came about after a while - I took some short term contracts to pay the bills, made some cuts in my spending and eventually I found a job with a great company.

The man hiatus was to make me realize that I was OK on my own and to stop waiting for a guy to 'rescue' me. I wanted to get my head and heart aligned so that the next time I met someone who gave me butterflies I would be able to determine if he was Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now.

The dog - Maggie. Adopting my sweet girl from the Humane Society on that rainy October day in 1999 was one of the best choices I have ever made. Because of her, I got into better shape from walking 90 minutes a day, 7 days a week, made great friends at the dog park and had to care for something other than myself. Most of all, unconditional love met me at the door everyday with a wagging tail and that is the best thing of being a dog owner.

By the time I met Wilson, I had changed my life quite drastically from what it was and I was in a good place. I knew what was important to me and I was happy with me, my life and where I was. I had stopped looking for a boy to save me and decided to save myself.

And then came Wilson. More on that later!

STILL HAVEN'T FOUND WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR!

2009-09-21T13:12:00.020-04:00

Last week, Wilson and I went to see U2 and it was AWESOME! From the stage, to being surrounded by 62,000 people all singing along to some of our favourite songs, to having a great date with my favourite boy!

Those 4 Irish boys put on a helluva show and they were the one band that I have always wanted to see. So glad that I finally did!

While I really wanted Bono or The Edge to see me int the audience and invite me to come on tour with them (and perhaps be their tambourine player) but alas, I must wait another year for that to happen.

However I have decided that I am One with the fact that I Still Haven't Found What I Am Looking For in the place Where the Streets Have No Name.

I'M BACK!

2009-09-18T12:03:00.001-04:00

Wow – have I ever been gone a long time or what! I have no real excuse other than feeling devoid of all creativity and anything funny to say. My job has reached a new level of insanity regarding workload/travel and general all-round craziness that it sapped all amusing anecdotes from me. Damn that ambition that made me leave my lovely old job where I had time to blog, read blogs I love, keep up on Flickr and in general do anything else but work.

Anyhoo, here I am - with my new ‘back to school’ mentality or as I like to think of it as 'back to blog'. Here are my observations du jour!

Jon Gosselin – ENOUGH! Please shut up, go away and get off the cover of US magazine if you ‘hate’ the media attention. Go be a father for the love of God!

Kate Gosselin’s hair – better but still – it amazes me that her haircut made the CNN crawl!

Mad Men – I LOVE JON HAMM! This should come as no surprise to anyone who has read this blog of mine. Also adore Joan Holloway! This show is the total best!!

Business Travel – doing a lot of it and it sucks! That is all I have to say about that!

Shoes – had to go to Atlanta for business. See above for how I feel about business travel. BUT – while I was there, I bought 2 divine pairs of shoes. There is an upside to business travel after all – shopping in different cities!

Grey hair – 2 questions – why does it have to show up at all? Why does it have to show up so damn fast after a cut and colour? Stupid grey hair!!

Traffic – It is such a part of my daily life for the last year. But what really annoys me is how the slightest bit of precipitation causes traffic to slow down to the point where I think I can carry my car faster to work. Is this just a Toronto thing or does it happen in your city?

Summer – where did it go?

Here is hoping the 'amusing anecdote' part of my brain makes a comeback soon!

BECAUSE I SUCK AGAIN...

2009-06-16T17:13:00.000-04:00

I give you this picture of Arthur at 9 weeks to view until my life becomes less crazy and I can write again! I have no idea when that is but until then, I give you the flying ear.

UPDATED

2009-06-05T11:37:00.000-04:00

At long last I have updated my blogroll - but have noticed that it has significantly shrank in the last while (since I got a real job and started working instead of blogging - damn that ambition and need for money to pay for my pretty shoe habit!).

Who are you reading internet? Who should I check out these days?

TRAVEL

2009-06-04T14:42:00.004-04:00

I love to travel and that is a good thing as I do it a lot for my job. I love the excitement that getting on a plane brings me – even if I have been to that city or place many times before. It is the act of going away and of coming back that never ceases to put me in awe of how far one person can go in an airplane.

However, because I fly a lot, every time I take off or land I think about crashing. Not sure why I do – I am not afraid of flying at all, in fact I rather like it. However, it never fails, every time I am in a plane I think about crashing. With the news lately of the Air France flight that went down in the Atlantic, I have been thinking a lot about those passengers and what they went through. I can picture these passengers on their flight doing all that you do when you get on a plane – getting on, settling in, trying to make sure that you get good arm rest room, getting snacks, beverages, pillows, blankets, choosing what movies to watch, talking with their kids, thinking about their loved ones on the other end when they land or all that they want to do on their latest travel adventure.

When I think about crashing, all I think about is that if we do crash, I want it to be fast so that no one, especially me, suffers. I also think “Did I tell Wilson and Arthur that I love them? Did I leave the iron on? Did I pack my own pants or Wilson’s this time?” I think about these passengers and send a fervent wish to the universe that these passengers did not know what was happening and that their last moments were not filled with panic, confusion, fear and suffering. I hope that they could only enjoy their flight until it was too late and then it was over before they knew what was happening.

But really, the worst is for those loved ones coming to the airport to meet them, holding signs, flowers, gifts and waiting with open hearts and arms only to be told that they were never going to see these friends, family, lovers, loved ones ever again. There is no balm for that kind of pain and suffering as it is a wound that never really heals. So today, I think about all of them and am feeling sad. I will think about them the next time I am sitting on a plane with thoughts of crashing going through my head and know that because of them, I left for my journey making sure Wilson and Arthur know that they are loved and that they love me back.

HONESTLY...

2009-06-03T12:00:00.000-04:00

edder, you rock for sharing this award with me. I am sorry for taking so long to post - that damn job of mine gets in the way of my blogging. So, in order to accept this award, I have to share 10 honest things about me with the Internet. Ummm...I think that the Internet is going to scream 'nuff said' with the minutae but here goes:

I hate it when 'educated' people say irregardless. Seriously - it is not a word stop using it. Also, please learn the difference between your and you're.
Rude people really annoy me. It takes a moment to be polite and no one will spit in your food that way.
I asked my husband to marry me.
I can't believe that I am going to be 43 this year. Sweet mother of God - when did I get old???
I am an aunt to 8 nieces and nephews and a great aunt to 12 grand nieces and nephews. Can you tell I am from a big family???
I have a freakish love of good luggage. I travel a lot for work and am always looking at other people's luggage in the airport.
Pedicures are my favourite spa thing to do - nothing makes me feel better than pretty toes!
I have a HUGE fear of snakes. I can't even look at them on TV.
I have zero athletic ability - and I really do mean zero. Walking and chewing gum showcases all of my coordination abilities - and even then, I fail. Nothing makes my husband laugh harder than when I get invited to participate in some sporting activity.
I often have the sense of humour of a 12 year old boy. Toilet humour makes me laugh my ass off. Superbad is one of my all time favourite movies.

There you go! You now know more about me than my mom.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

2009-06-02T10:00:00.001-04:00

Two years ago, our big boy Arthur was born. Little did we know that he was going to join our family but 7 weeks later he did and our life would never be the same. Somehow, we went from this

Arthur @ 5 weeks

Arthur @ 7 weeks

Arthur @ 1 year

Arthur @ 2 years

What an amazing 2 years it has been! He has given us more laughs, frustrated us more than we ever knew we could be and loves us like there is no tomorrow. I can only hope that he knows that we love him back so, so much!

Happy birthday big boy! While it is your birthday, you are the best gift we ever got! Here is too many, many more birthdays with you!

MEMEMEMEME

2009-06-01T19:55:00.000-04:00

edder wanted me to share more minutae of my life with you dear internet so here it goes.

1. What is your current obsession?

As always in the summer – So You Think You Can Dance! I love it – not sure why as I am not the demographic but I never miss a show!

2. What are you wearing today?
Brown pants, pink and white tank and a light pink short sleeved blouse. Trying to be spring like on a chilly day.

3. What's for dinner?
Roasted chicken from Sunday and salad. Am down 10 pounds and want to keep the scale moving lower.

4. What would you eat for your last meal?
Macaroni & cheese, turkey with stuffing, scalloped potatoes – basically carbohydrates and cheese with a bottle of fantastic red wine.

5. What's the last thing you bought?
Pretty flowers for our garden. However, as we are just about to start construction on our new deck in the backyard – it could be a contractors’ services for the next 3 weeks.

6. What are you listening to right now?
The typing fingers of my colleagues.

7. What do you think of the person who tagged you?
edder is a fantastic person – funny, smart, loyal, gorgeous and very tall.

8. If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
The French Rivieria – gorgeous, good food, fantastic shopping and easy access to the rest of Europe.

9. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
Denver – to visit my beloved Kacy

10. Which language do you want to learn?
I have always regretted that I never learned how to speak French.

11. What's your favourite quote (for now)?
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” – Eleanor Roosevelt

12.What's your favourite colour?
Blue – not just any blue but that perfect, pretty blue (a combination of sky blue and Forget-me-not blue) that goes with just about everything. It is so hard to find and when I do I buy multiple pieces of it in that colour.

13. What is your favourite piece of clothing in your own wardrobe?
A dress I bought a million years ago and can no longer fit into. However, when Wilson and I had split for a while (this was of course before we got married), I wore it to an event that I knew he was going to be at but he did not know that I was going to be at. I had lost a ton of weight and looked like a million bucks in it. When he saw me, he looked stunned and we got back together the next weekend. I keep to remind me of the power of cleavage and a good fitting dress. Also, my wedding dress.

14. What is your dream job?
A wealthy retired woman who volunteers and gets to travel a lot.

15. What's your favourite magazine?
Vanity Fair, Vogue (LOVE Anna Wintour) and Toronto Life

16. If you had $100 now, what would you spend it on?
Summer clothes

17. What are you going to do after this?
Drive home, smooch a dog and make dinner

18. What are your favourite films?
The American President, The Sound of Music, Singing in the Rain, A Few Good Men, Best in Show, Waiting for Guffman

19. What's your favourite fruit?
Apples – crunchy and good with cheese and mangos

20. What inspires you?
A good book, a great blog, a person with ideals who isn’t afraid to stand up for them, the ocean, smart people

21. Your favourite books?
So many – A Separate Peace, Anne of Green Gables, The Inn at Lake Devine, A Thousand Splendid Suns and the list could go on and on

22. Do you collect anything?
I love purses, shoes, sunglasses and luggage. However as we are now paying for the services of a contractor, all of those loves are on hold.

23. What are you currently reading?
Then She Found Me by Elinor Lipman

24. What's your earliest memory?
Being in the car with my brother when we picked him up from the adoption agency (I was about 2 ½ and thinking – WHO IS THAT AND WHAT IS HE DOING WITH MY MOM????

25. By what criteria do you judge a person?
By what have they done for me lately! HA – actually I try not to be to judgey but often fail miserably. I do try to judge people by how they treat others, small children, old people and pets. Also, because I have a developmentally challenged brother, how people treat those that are different from them. I have seen some of the most “Christian” people be unspeakably rude to my brother and then they are dead to me.

edder wanted me to share this others so I tag KK to share her details with everyone.

DON'T JUDGE ME

2009-05-26T14:32:00.000-04:00

I did it! I watched the Season 5 premiere of Jon & Kate plus 8. All I felt was sadness for all of them. I watched Kate trying to be 'on' for the camera and Jon so wanting to be elsewhere. He looked so stoned to me. The sad part for me was that they didn't call each other by their names once or show any kindness to each other. Can you imagine the tension at that party? I felt so sad for one of their daughters when she hugged Jon and asked him to not go away again. Good lord - that got me a smidge choked up.

I am not a mom and will NEVER have 8 kids but I am one of 7 kids so I do know that a house with a lot of kids is a dictatorship not a democracy - but holy crap! My parents raised 7 kids and somehow did it without hating each other or making each other feel like a piece of crap

Kate - get help for your control issues and Jon - stop blaming Kate for the fact that you have no job. You have a job - you are the dad to 8 kids and you chose to put your life on TV and make money from the show. If you want a 'real' job so bad - go and get one for the love of God. Both of you need to stop hiding behind what is good for the kids because being on reality tv is never good for kids. I have never seen 2 people who like each other less in a marriage.

I won't watch another episode because this one made me too sad. I only hope that they find a way to resolve in a way that works for them all.

MEET MY NEW PET - PEEVE!

2009-05-19T11:25:00.000-04:00

edder had this list of her 15 Pet Peeves and since I was feeling a lack of imagination and in need of a blog post, here is my list. Share yours - you know that you want to and its fun!

People who use the word "irregardless". IT IS NOT A REAL WORD!
Body odour. Seriously, in this country where water is cheap and available, there is no excuse. Do you hear me Toronto taxi drivers!
Empty milk containers in the fridge. Wilson - this has never been funny - NEVER!
Empty toilet paper rolls (however I do this to Wilson all the time)
Dirty dishes on the counter for more than 1 day - just put the damn things in the dishwasher already!
Kitchen cupboard doors left open
Bugs
Crying children on airplanes. I fly A LOT and you would think that I wouldn't hear it any more but I DO!
People who wear their blackberries on their hip at a social event - like their children's birthday party. We get it, you love your 'Berry - but seriously, the whole world has one, no one cares!
Tattoos - think about when you get old how that will look!
Facial piercings - most specifically - tongue and lip. OW and EEWW!
People who drive stupidly slow because they are talking on their cell phones. Learn to mulit-task would you!
Jessica Simpson - in fact the whole Simpson family - SO DO NOT CARE!
People who tell me that Diet Coke in the morning is gross. You drink your dark caffeinated beverage your way and I will drink it mine. I don't judge you - don't judge me!
Bad breath - seriously, have you never heard of breath mints?

That was fun and I so could have gone on and on and on! Come on internet, I showed you mine, show everyone yours!

HAPPY!

2009-05-15T09:53:00.000-04:00

Much to celebrate here in DiDi land.

1) LONG WEEKEND! The weather is supposed to SUCK IT this weekend but still - I do not care! I have 3 consecutive days off and that in itself is fab!

2) I am not getting on a plane for work for a month. See here why this makes me so damn happy!

3) Boating season has begun. The boat is in the water and while not ready to go it will be soon!

4) edder of I Don't Care for Your Tone has given me an award. Thanks edder - will post about it over the weekend. You rock!

All in all, I am going to have a large slice of happiness pie this weekend!

I HATE BUSINESS TRAVEL

2009-05-12T13:38:00.000-04:00

For so many damn reasons but over the last 2 weeks, I have been in many places and taken many flights all for work. My list of reasons why I hate business travel has grown so hang on because here comes another rant:

people who sit beside me who think that I want to talk to them for the entire flight
people who sit beside me who have REALLY bad breath
late flights
early morning flights
crappy airplane food
really bad wine that you have to pay for
stupid airplane rules - seriously, the plane costs $500 million dollars and my cheap, shitty cell phone will disrupt what exactly. And if it does, don't you think that you should spend, oh I don't know, spend another $20 bucks and make it so that cell phones won't make the plane crash
that I have to put all of my toiletries into a baggie
that I have to take my shoes off to go through the scanner
people who do not properly strip (shoes, belt, empty pockets, etc) before going through the scanner and making those of us standing in our sock feet wait while he/she gets the cavity search
people who pull on the back of my chair to get up
people who fart on the plane - you know who you are
the fact that I have to buy the worst headphones in the world to watch the movies
people who feel that showering is beneath them. These people usually end up sitting beside me and I want to die from the stench.

Whew, I feel better! Most times, I get on and off planes like I get in and out of my car but this past week of flights has been brutal. I need that lottery win to kick in so that I only have to travel when I want to, to places that I want to go.

Excuse me, they are calling my flight. Wish me luck!

MOTHER'S DAY

2009-05-05T18:02:00.004-04:00

I recently looked back through my posts to see what I had written about my mom - and to my shock and horror I had done nothing. I felt, with Mother's Day around the corner that I commemorate her here - even though she does not know how to turn on a computer, find a file or even know what a blog is. So here are just some of the many reasons why I love my mom:

• She had me at 39 (can you say SURPRISE!), when she had already had 5 babies (the oldest was 16 and the youngest at that time was 8) and then adopted my brother so that I would have a sibling close to me to play with
• She is the proudest grandma (and great-grandma) you ever did meet
• She bakes REALLY well - as a kid, I would trade my homemade goodies for Hostess cupcakes, Twinkies, etc because I could get tarts and cookies any time I wanted. I know understand how rare really good baked good were in your lunch every day!
• She went to work, outside the home, when I was 8 - her first job outside the home in 25 years - so that she wouldn't be bored and could contribute to the household.
• She showed me what grace under pressure and compassion truly looks like
• She shows me what true love looks like and made sure that I knew that I should never take it for granted
• She (and my dad) show me what a happy marriage looks like - 60 years together this year and I have never heard them argue or say a mean thing to or about each other (missed this gene as Wilson and I have had a couple of good fights that would make her blush at what we said to each other)
• She always told me that I could be anything or do anything if I only put my mind to it
• She passed onto me the love of animals – you should see how she loves Arthur (even when he tries to lay in her lap - have I mentioned that he is over 70lbs - she just laughs at him!)
• She is the least judgemental person I have ever met (again, clearly you all know that I did not get this gene!)
• She never gets mad at me when I ask her iron something for me 'because she does it better' but really it is because I will burn myself and I hate it more than anything in the world
• Her strength of character and spirit still shine through her every day and way - even now at 82

For these reasons and so many more that there is not enough blog space in the world to write them all, I love my mom. I hope I have many more Mother's Days with er to tell her over and over how much I love and appreciate her.

Happy Mother's Day Mom!

BECAUSE I STILL SUCK...

2009-04-29T11:55:00.000-04:00

A little Hugh goes a long way!

BECAUSE I SUCK AS A BLOGGER...

2009-04-27T12:01:00.000-04:00

Because work is so crazy right now and I am on the road for the next 3 weeks with nary a moment to breathe, my ability to update you dear Internet on my comings and goings and general life stuff is right up there with my ability to walk and chew gum. In other words - non existent.

So instead, I give you some pretty things to look at until I can once again sit down and bore you with the trivialities of my existance.

Enjoy!

BRITAIN'S GOT TALENT

2009-04-17T10:35:00.000-04:00

Internet, I am sure that you have seen this because it seems that everyone has! But holy hannah it sure surprised me!

All I want to do is make over this woman - fix the eyebrows and hair, take her shopping, better make up, tell her to never, ever wear dark hose with a light dress and shoes and lastly, tell her about Spanx when you go on national TV. I know, I know - I am shallow but then you already know this about me.

You gotta love a good Cinderella story and here is hoping that she can win it all. But before she does, I do hope that she gets her eyebrows fixed.

GOOD DAY!

2009-04-17T10:27:00.001-04:00

Today is a good day internet and do you know why??? The sun is shining, it is Friday AND I am wearing open-toe shoes for the first time in months!!!

I am one happy girl! Now if only that damn lottery win would come through tonite - my happiness would be complete! Fingers crossed!!

GOTTA LOVE A LONG WEEKEND!

2009-04-09T13:24:00.000-04:00

Glory be Internet - today is the last day of my work week all thanks to Good Friday! Oh how I wish that 4 day weeks were what I had everyday (with no cut in pay of course!) - but alas, that is not meant to be.

Have a great, long weekend everyone and may the Easter Bunny find you wherever you may be!

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR!

2009-04-08T13:53:00.001-04:00

Good Yontif Internet (and if you are not Jewish - Happy Passover)!. It is well documented on this site of my love of all things Passover. Seriously - what is not to love about this holiday - you eat until you can't move, dinner is comprised mainly of carbs, most of the food is beige and there is lots of laughter! For me, being a non Jew, it is like a non Christmas, Christmas dinner except there is a lot of reading in Hebrew and other tradtions - none of which involve the Son of God. Serioulsy - what is not to love about a big meal comprised of mainly carbs!

So Internet I will think of you tonight as I dine on kugel, carrot tsimis, matzoh and blintzes.

PS - don't worry if you hear an explosion tomorrow morning. That would be my pants as i try to do them up after eating more than a person really should at one meal!

COMING HOME FROM OVER THERE!

2009-04-08T13:00:00.001-04:00

Good news! Our friend Rob is coming home in 10 days from Afghanistan! Can I get an Amen to that one Internet! He has some stuff to do in a couple of different places and then he is home with his wife Marcie and 2 kids for a month before he has to report back for duty. The sense of relief and happiness that overwhelmed those of us who know him when we found out he was coming home was indescribable.

I admire Marcie so much and also wonder how the eff does she do it? She married him knowing that the Armed Forces were his career choice, knowing that he trained to put himself into harm’s way. How do you watch your partner leave you for a year not knowing if he will ever come home and put his arms around you ever again? How do you function as a married couple some of the time but a single mom the rest of the time? How do you love the spit out of him all the time but want to kick him in the shin (really hard!)some of the time?

Obviously I am not made of the stuff required to be a military spouse – you have to be a lot nicer person than me and have the ability to put up with way more crap than I ever could. Also, being adjacent to Army green is not good for my complexion – it tends to wash me out.

So thank you for sending the good thoughts way back when - I know that it helped!

Have a good hump day Internet!

NO WHERE TO GO BUT UP!

2009-04-03T13:35:00.000-04:00

I come out of our house this morning to to go to work only to find that I had left the moon roof open on the car. Normally, leaving the roof open is this is not a problem as I park it in our garage. But yesterday - did I do that? Noperoo I did not. Guess what else it did last night and this morning? If you just thought "I bet it rained" you would be right. Guess how I found out that I left the moon roof open in the car? If you guessed that my ass told me as I sat in seat covered in rainy wetness - you would be right again!

So once I moved the damn car, wiped the seats, armrest and dash - I then went back into the house to change my jeans so that people didn't think I peed my pants while driving to work.

I have checked around and it is now confirmed - I really am an idiot!

PROUST QUESTIONNAIRE

2009-04-02T12:09:00.000-04:00

I had recorded a bunch of ‘Inside the Actor’s Studio” on the PVR and watched a couple of the episodes last night. I love the show for a bunch of reasons but mainly that James Lipton is so freakin' obsequious to the stars and so self-promoting is utterly laughable to me. Also, I am a star whore and love to watch those kind of interviews. He ends every interview with the same 10 questions which are based around the Proust Questionnaire and it occurred to me that this would be a good blog post. Here goes!

1. What is your favorite word?
Home

2. What is your least favorite word?
Schmegma

3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Intelligence/humour

4. What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Stupidity (see yesterday’s post for my latest rant!)

5. What sound or noise do you love?
My dog yawning first thing in the morning right before he jumps into bed with us.

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
The sound of nail clippers, clipping nails - especially when someone does it in the office (I am not kidding about that one!)

7. What is your favorite curse word?
Fuck (in all its forms – fucker, mother fucker, fuck-a-doodle-doo, you get the drift)
Cocksucker would run a close second – for its wonderful descriptive powers

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Lottery winner (is so a profession!)

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Doctor/Surgeon (ick on all of the blood, guts and bad wardrobe stuff)

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
“Didn’t expect to see you here – we thought you had a reservation in the other place”

Now, I can’t be the only one to do this so I now tag KK, Muffy, edder and Emily to do this and then tag 4 or 5 of your favourite people with this. Who knows what could start from this wee blog!

WHO IS MICH?

2009-04-02T09:00:00.000-04:00

Who is the gorgeous girl? Go and find out for yourself - you won't be sorry you did!!

Congratulations Mich on your 100th post!

PET PEEVE

2009-04-01T15:48:00.000-04:00

I have many, trust me on that one! But today, on a day when everything is rubbing my last nerve so effing raw my pet peeve du jour is that someone, who shall remain nameless, in my department (WHO HAS AN EFFIN MBA) uses the word 'irregardless' - ALL.THE.TIME!

Seriously - just that today just might be enough to tip the scales in favour of me going postal.

Will keep you all posted!

NOT A GOOD DAY!

2009-04-01T12:57:00.002-04:00

Today sucks!
Recessions really suck!
It rained today and I left my umbrella at home!
Tomorrow had better be much better than today or I am going to take my toys and go home!
I am too old for this shiz!!

EVERYBODY TAKE ONE STEP TO THE RIGHT, THERE IS NEW BLOGGER IN TOWN

2009-03-27T15:43:00.000-04:00

Internet, my dear friend edder has joined us in blogging and I wanted give her a shout out. This is one funny chica whose writing has always amused the beejeesus out of me.

Welcome to the Internet edder! You totally rock!!

PS - if you read her latest post, the boobs mentioned - they be mine!

TGIF?

2009-03-27T11:54:00.000-04:00

I am off to visit the inlaws for a weekend visit and to get our taxes done - OK, mostly to get our taxes done as Wilson's dad is an accountant and gets us money back from the government EVERY.DAMN.YEAR!

However, the last time we were there was Christmas and we chatted about this so I am a little scared of what is going to be discussed this time once my MIL gets a couple of cocktails in her.

Internet - if you see a a chubby girl with auburn hair running down the side of a major highway screaming - say hi - it's me!

CUTS LIKE A KNIFE

2009-03-19T16:41:00.000-04:00

OK, so in my last post, I tried to be all suspenseful and leave you wanting more with my tale of rings and Bryan Adams…did it work? Have you been sitting there wanting more about those details? Have you??? (insert sound of crickets here…) Sorry – forgot that you all have way more interesting lives but I am going to tell you anyway.

I come home from my trip, where I discovered that I was old and seriously lacking in any kind of ability to stay up late and drink anymore, and remembered that Wilson and I had been invited to some swishy dinner by our friend David. By 4:30 pm that afternoon, all I wanted to do was eat dinner and go to bed but I remembered that would make me really old so I pulled on my panty hose and off we went.

This is a great fundraising dinner with a silent auction and Bryan Adams was the after dinner entertainment. (Sidebar - I grew up watching Bryan Adams – I had, have such a crush and he was my 2nd largest concert that I ever went to as a kid. He opened for Journey and I totally lied to my mom about where I was going. I told her that I was staying at my friend Karen’s house and we were going to a movie. I snuck my birth certificate out of her drawer and off we went. Since she doesn’t read this blog anymore, I think my secret is still safe. ) Anyhoo, we go, I am in the mood to shop and I love silent auctions like nobody’s business. I see some small stuff and start writing my name down with my bids. At this point, Wilson started to sweat as he saw how many things I was bidding on. I told him to shush as it was still early and none of my bids would make it to the end of the night.

We went into dinner and are discussing the framed photos that I like but he doesn’t and there is lots of wine drinking (don’t judge it was free and the waiters were very generous with their pouring) and then in-between courses I go back to the auction, made more bids, came back and tell Wilson about stuff I had bid on. He decides that I can‘t have all of the fun and goes and perused the auction and came back and told me that he placed a bid and would I like to see what he bid on? Now I am VERY curious as he never bids on stuff really and we go and Internet you will not believe this one. HE BID ON A RING FOR ME! My lovely but very frugal husband bid on a piece of jewellery for me! Shocked does not even tell you how I felt at that moment! I was shaking at this point because it is very pretty and I wanted it more than anything and was ready to drop the gloves if some beeyotch tried to take my ring. It got down to the last minute and I was so nervous I thought I was going to pee my pants and then POOF the auction is over and the ring is mine! And here I thought that Bryan Adams was going to be the highlight of my evening.

We get back to our seats and Bryan Adams takes the stage and everyone started rocking out to the classics and some of his new stuff. IT.WAS.AWESOME! I would like to remind you all that a lot of wine drinking has happened up until this point. He says that he wants someone to come and sing “Baby, When You’re Gone” with him and of course I am determined that this should be me. I am leaping over people to get closer to the stage (while in 4 inch heels, banging on the stage and pretty much ready to jump on stage) but alas he does not pick me for the song. With nothing left to do, I went and consoled myself with more wine.

Then, he comes out for an encore and encourages us to come up on the stage and dance with him. That was all I needed – kissed Wilson good bye and said that it was nice being married to him, thanks for the ring and all but am going to be with Bryan now. Jumped on the stage (again in aforementioned 4” heels) and sashayed up to the point where Bryan was singing – and we made significant eye contact. I could tell what he was thinking – “who is that HOT woman! I must make her my woman NOW!" (or it could have been a look of fear - the looks are kind of similar). Then his guitarist motioned that I should come closer (he did too!) and that was all it took for me! I leaped, yes leaped over the security guard arm who thought he could stop me and found myself on stage with Bryan and his band. Managed to get a hug in with the man himself and then found myself on stage, in front of a mic and started singing along! For a brief and shining moment – I WAS A ROCK STAR!

Then the song was over and I returned to my table and husband – Bryan Adams may be the boy of my teens but the man at my table bought me jewellery. He got to take me home that night!

So there it is – my fleeting moment of glory! The best part was when I came into work on Monday and told my story, our PR manager Jen said that her sister-in-law and brother were there and and said of the women who got on stage with Bryan were and I quote – “CRAZY!” Yes I was and am – just ask anyone who knows me.

HAPPY BLOGAVERSARY TO ME!

2009-03-14T09:00:00.008-04:00

Two years ago today was my first blog post! Thank you Internet for the laughs, support and friendships. You totally rock!

IT HAS BEEN A WHILE, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO...

2009-03-13T10:25:00.000-04:00

Whew! What a crazy couple of weeks it has been Internet! First, we went on an awesome vacation – Egypt and it was effing AMAZING! To be standing next to a pyramid that is over 5,000 years old and still in amazing condition is utterly mind blowing. We saw so much and did so much that I still can’t believe that I went on such a great vacation. I am working on the pictures and will have all of them posted to Flickr soon (maybe a little long than soon but I swear I am working on it!)

We got back and hoo-boy jet lag is a bitch! I was home for 5 days and then off on a weeklong business trip to Mont Tremblant in Quebec - where it was effing 50 degrees below zero (or so it felt)!! There were times I felt that my girl parts were going to leave my body for a warmer climate it was so damn cold. I would not have blamed them if they did! The cold does not make me a happy girl at all!

However, I did learn a valuable life lesson on this business trip – and yes I will share my life lesson with all of you. GETTING OLD SUCKS! How did I come to this realization – because I cannot drink or stay up AT ALL like I used to be able to. It never used to be a problem to have a several adult beverages, dance until the wee hours, sleep for a few and then get up and go to work like it was nothing. Slam back a couple of Advil, a Diet Coke or 2 (or as I used to call it – Breakfast of Champions) and I would be good to go! The group I was with would go out every night and drink and party like I used to before my age got the better of me. What did I do – I went to bed! Because I was TIRED! Only old people do that kind of shiz!!! I like to think that I can still party like it was 1999 but compared to my colleagues and customers, I am a church lady! I did go out a couple of times just to prove that I am not a complete stick in the mud but WOW did I ever pay for it the next day. Internet, it is official – I AM OLD AND IT SUCKS! How did this happen??? Next stop for DiDi – rest home and a cane! I had better be careful walking to the car because I don’t want to slip, fall and break a hip!

Now I am home, back to work and really wish that a lottery win had come through so that I could stay on vacation for ever but alas – that still has not happened! I must get my old ass back to work so that we can dream of our next trip – where ever that maybe! However, there will be another post very soon to tell you about my adventures dancing on stage with Bryan Adams and how Wilson bought me a very pretty ring at a silent auction (this is my way of leaving you wanting more Internet ).

I missed you Internet and I promise not to leave it so long between visits next time!

HI HONEY, I'M HOME!

2009-02-24T16:42:00.000-05:00

So Wilson and I go on a fabu vacation - really the trip of a lifetime. Trust me, I am working on a post to summarize but I don't want it to break an internet record for most words in a post or boring readers to death. You always miss stuff when you leave and what do I miss - that Bestie guest posted for Muffy for a week while she was on vacation - I see why you two are besties - that was some funny shiz that I got myself caught up on and the very pretty Emily gave me an award. Thank you so much Em - you totally rock!

Even though I have been blogging for almost 3 years (Holy crap people, I never thought I would still be at it, I just wanted to be one of the cool kids) it still gives me a thrill when I find wee blog on someone's blogroll, a comment left on an entry or that someone likes my mindless drivel that I send out to the universe and tells me about it.

In order to fulfill my obligations of winning this award, I now must forward to 10 other bloggers that I love. However, since I took this job waaaay back when we had sunshine and warm weather, my ability to read blogs has sincerely be reduced due to the fact that I now have to work for a living (and not just show up and collect a pay cheque as I did at my old job).

I give this award to the following 3 blogs that I love and follow:

The much beloved Muffy of My Friends are Sluts
The lovely KK of Will Work for Shoes
The very funny Jen of JenatWork

Please don't judge me due to my pathetic ambition that got in the way of blogging.

Anyhoo - am back, on crack and ready to roll.

LOVE

2009-02-14T10:00:00.001-05:00

On this day that Hallmark created, here are all the things that I love (in no particular order). The best thing is that most of them love me back too!

- Wilson
- Arthur
- my fantastic Sorority girls - better friends do not exist
- My gay husband Bri
- my parents
- Kacy
- amazing girlfriends
- wine
- cheese
- chocolate
- clean sheets
- a day filled with sunshine
- Diet Coke
- the day the cleaning comes to the house
- the first taste of corn on the cob in the summer
- Wilson's parents
- our dog walker - amazing woman that she is!
- fresh cut flowers given to my by my husband
- snuggling with aforementioned husband at night
- waking up with aforementioned husband every day
- waking up on a Saturday morning and knowing that I am free from work
- waking up on a Saturday morning and have a large, brown dog in bed with us

I am a very lucky girl to have such a list! I hope that this day gives you all the love you want, need and desire and then some extra because - who can't use an extra helping of the smooshy love stuff!

OFF WE GO

2009-02-05T18:00:00.000-05:00

to the magic land of Egypt for 2 wonderful weeks! This makes the past 2 weeks of work hell so worthwhile! I will miss you Internet but will be back soon with LOTS and LOTS of pictures to share.

Stay well and keep warm!

THE OFFICIAL CANADIAN TEMPERATURE CONVERSION CHART

2009-02-02T17:24:00.013-05:00

Once Christmas is over, I cannot wait for the heinous white stuff to be gone and spring to arrive. It seems that it never will some days as more of that effing white stuff falls from the sky, makes my drive to and/or from work absolute hell and in general just pisses me off.

However this was sent to me recently and I had to laugh out loud at it. For those of you who suffer through winter along with us - you can relate. For those of you in sunnier climes, who do not have snow, extreme cold and dry, chapped skin - I hate you all - but you can pity those of us who were not as smart as you in choosing a place to spend our lives.

50° Fahrenheit (10° C)
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Canadians plant gardens.

35° Fahrenheit (1.6° C)
Italian Cars won't start
Canadians drive with the windows down

32° Fahrenheit (0 ° C)
American water freezes
Canadian water gets thicker.

0° Fahrenheit (-17.9° C)
New York City landlords finally turn on the heat.
Canadians have the last cookout of the season.

-60° Fahrenheit (-51° C)
Mt. St. Helens freezes.
Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door.

-100° Fahrenheit (-73° C)
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Canadians pull down their ear flaps.

-173° Fahrenheit (-114° C)
Ethyl alcohol Freezes.
Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg

-460° Fahrenheit (-273° C)
Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops.
Canadians start saying "cold, eh?"

-500° Fahrenheit (-295° C)
Hell freezes over.
The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup

WALK LIKE AN EGYPTIAN

2009-02-01T21:37:00.021-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hW1v-nMMYA4

In less than 1 week, Wilson and I will be boarding a large plane to start that will take us to Cairo and help us to start walking like an Egyptian. I cannot believe that this trip is finally here - we booked it almost a year ago. Preparation is near complete - hair dyed so that the gray is not visible; mani/pedi done; legs waxed; new clothes purchased and all that is left is too put all clothes, shoes, sunscreen and all other personal products into the one suitcase that we are allowed and at the weight that won't cost us any additional money.

Needless to say that I will not be posting for a while but when I get back there will be plenty of pictures to see and many stories to tell.

I will miss you internet but never fear, I will return.

QUESTION

2009-01-21T18:12:00.002-05:00

Why do we HAVE to have winter? Can't we just have a couple of cooler days and call it a day on the bad weather? I am tired of my winter coat, boots, snow, ice and cold. I am tired of sub-zero days, getting into a cold car and having to wear so many layers that people think to themselves "WOW, ever since DiDi and Wilson got married she has REALLY gained a lot of weight!" (OK, so I have gained but not as much as the layers make me look!).

I swear to God if that damn groundhog says that we have 6 more weeks of this shiz, I am going to totally lose my nut, grab and gun and go postal on his furry ass.

Anyone with me?

MY YEAR IN REVIEW....so far

2009-01-19T21:41:00.012-05:00

Holy crap has my year so far been crazy. Here are some of the things that I did over the holidays...

spent time with Wilson's family and celebrated Christmas
went to Ottawa for work and was at the World Junior Hockey tournament and stayed in a hotel for 12 days - which is not as nice as it sounds
watched Canada vs. US hockey game on New Year's Eve, which Canada won 7-4. It totally rocked!!!
watched Canada win our 5th consecutive gold medal at the World Juniors and heard 21,000 people screaming until the roof lifted off Scotia Bank Place. Hearing our anthem sung by an arena full of people who were as proud as I was was an amazing thing to be a part of.

Then I came home and got the worst head cold I have had in years. Seriously, could not even talk to ReRe on the phone - which NEVER happens!

Now life is back to normal, work is crazy and all is well. And you dear Internet, how are things with you...

I WOULD LIKE TO THANK THE ACADEMY...

2009-01-19T21:22:00.001-05:00

And none other than my beloved Muffy Willowbrook for giving me this award.

But I don't just get to post this and run away. I have to share with 10 crap pieces of info about me. So here goes...

10. I love watching The Hills and I am not sure why??? Spencer and Heidi make me want to vomit and I cannot believe how much these people stare at each other and yet I tune in every freaking week. My name is Diane and I am a Hills addict...

9. I am like a dog when I eat something I like. I could eat it until I explode - chocolate, my dad's yorkshire puddings, turkey stuffing, peppermint patties. I have no ability to say no to food that I love. Do you think that this has anything to do with my increasing ass size?

8. I hate winter with every fibre of my being!

7. Wilson and I have no bathroom issues. We can be in the bathroom while together while one is peeing and the other can be brushing teeth or just chatting. Apparently I am the only one of my friends who does this...

6. If you were to see how I look when I come home from work you would wonder how I ever got a boyfriend let alone a husband. God help me if Wilson ever leaves me because it would never happen again.

5. I don't like hot beverages or soup. Not sure why but just don't.

4. Diet Coke is my favourite beverage during the day. The nicest sound in the world is the sound of a cold Diet Coke can opening when you are really thirsty.

3. I end my week by getting my copies of People and US and consider it required reading. I also get pissed if Wilson reads my People before me.

2. I make kick ass guacamole.

1. I have been known to forget to put a camisole on and have shown my bra and/or cleavage at my place of employment (although I am much better at NOT doing this at the new job)

There - done! Thanks Muffy, now the Internet knows a bit more about me. I know share this award with:

Emily
KK

HOLY CRAP DEAR INTERNET!

2009-01-19T16:55:00.001-05:00

Seriously, I wrote a sappy post about my beloved Wilson in 2006 and I was checking my hotmail account and mentioned my first serious boyfriend. Well he found my blog, read the post and COMMENTED! WTF!!!

First I could not believe my eyes and then I laughed out loud at my desk and had to lie quickly to my colleagues as to why I was laughing so hard that I had tears in my eyes at my desk.

Internet - you totally rock!

MERRY CHRISTMAS

2008-12-24T12:44:00.000-05:00

to all and to all a good night!

Merry Christmas dear Internet!

CONVERSATION ON A COLD DECEMBER EVENING

2008-12-24T12:30:00.000-05:00

December 22nd.
I am at my inlaws house in northern Ontario with a drink (one of many) in hand. Arthur was running around and my MIL remarks how it is sad that Arthur's breeder decided to cut his tail off so short (he is a pointer and their tales are always docked). And then the conversation switches to the fact that he no longer has balls due to his mom (that would be me) having them cut off and how we should not have done that to the poor boy. The comment was made that he has been mutilated.

Somehow from there, we went to circumcision and how Wilson is not (this I knew), his dad (MY FIL) is not (never wanted to know) and neither was his granddad (same). This happened while I was in the same room as my FIL and my husband! I NEVER EVER wanted to know anything about my FIL in that way. While this conversation was making my ears bleed, my FIL and husband were having a conversation about the auto industry bailout and do not even register the hell I was in.

And they wonder why I drink so much when I am at their house. Internet, I think you understand because you would head straight for the fridge for more wine too!

Aren't the holidays dee-lightful?

BACK FROM VACATION

2008-12-08T15:11:00.001-05:00

Happy Monday Internet! Am back from Belize and I have a slight tan - WOOT WOOT! However, Belize and I did not agree. First Delta Airlines lost our luggage - this usually is not a problem but when you get on a sailboat immediatly and leave port - not having your luggage does equate to a problem!

Second - we had 2 amazing days of sunshine and then came the overcast and rainy days. 4 days of overcast and rainy - WTF!!!

Third - and this is the part that sealed the deal for me - SAND FLEAS AND FREAKIN NOSEEUMS!!! Where did I go - Florida for the love of God??? Multiple bites and much scratching later, I have determined that Belize and I are not meant to be together!!

However, it was a blast with our friends and I laughed so much every day and drank WAAAAYYY too much!! Reality hit with a vengenance when we got off the plane last night and the pilot said it was minus 12 degrees Celsius (I have no freaking idea what that is in Farenheit!).

Am now back at work and wish I was still on vacation - just not in Belize!

VACATION BOUND!

2008-11-27T11:35:00.002-05:00

Wilson and I are vacation bound. Where are we going do you ask dear Internet? Well let me tell you...

BELIZE!!!!!!!

That's right - sunshine, unlimited bar, sunshine, no work and sunshine!

I will be back in a week, the same pale shade I am now (due to a large hat and copious amounts of SPF 45) but relaxed and happier (due mainly to lots of vacation sex with Wilson)!

Have a lovely week and I will raise a glass or 12. I promise pictures when I get back!!!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

2008-11-27T11:33:00.000-05:00

For all my American friends and family. May you travel safe, wear an outfit that features an elastic waistband and buy me something pretty on Black Friday!

AND SO IT BEGINS...

2008-11-20T12:16:00.000-05:00

This was what we woke up to this morning. More than a light dusting, less than a blizzard but still enough to completely screw up traffic last night. It took me an hour and 45 minutes to travel a distance that could be easily travelled in 20-30 minutes. Of course I was at a meeting prior to this and drank a bottle of water, forgot to go to the loo before I left and wanted to die in the car for the last 30 minutes of that drive. GAH!!!!

If I haven't mentioned it recently - I HATE WINTER!!! Yes snow at Christmas is pretty! Yes snow can be fun if you ski! Still doesn't make me like it any more. I hate the cold, dry, chapped skin and the required layers that winter brings with it every year! Mental note - buy more lottery tickets so that I can leave this country of mine in the winter and go somewhere warm.

Internet - I hope that you are somewhere warm and dry and not covered in snow. If you are, have a margarita for me!

LUNCH TIME REQUIREMENT - FOOD AND EMERGENCY SHOPPING!

2008-11-14T15:35:00.001-05:00

Many times my life is just a HUGE comedy of errors. This morning, realizing it was Friday and I could wear jeans to work (YIPEE!), I had a bit of extra spring to my step as I meandered down the hall to the loo. I shower, moisturize, blow dry etc all the while thinking of how comfortable I will be today at work. Then I move towards my closet and realize that my ‘good’ jeans are in the wash after being worn multiple times on the recent trip to Germany. So out come the tried and true GAP jeans that I haven’t worn in a couple of weeks.

I drag them on my body and realize that I have to high school it (lay down to zip them up) and thought to myself that the copious bratwurst/beer combo that was consumed last week on the aforementioned trip was NOT kind and I will have to start up the Trimspa again. Once they are zipped up, I then make THE fatal error of the day – I forgot to look in the full length mirror to assess the ensemble before leaving the house.

I get out at the office and see my reflection in the building (it is mirrored) and gasp out loud. Holy shit - I am wearing floods! These jeans are seriously short and geeky looking! All I need is a pencil protector and I am set for life. I quickly called Wilson to enquire what the HELL he did to them when he did the laundry. Here is the response – “yeah, sorry about that but I thought they were mine and accidentally threw them in the dryer but I thought you wouldn’t notice since you never wear them anymore”.

My beloved is famous for the don’t ask, don’t tell policy regarding anything that happens to my stuff that might get him yelled at. Clothes that might have been ruined or shoes that Arthur chewed while I was away on business - I get no news about these items until I go digging around or wear something totally embarrassing and ask about it and then I get the update. (Totally not kidding about the shoes – Arthur chewed not 1 but 2 pairs of shoes while I was away on my last trip. I promptly developed the chewed shoe/will be immediately replaced policy and the shoes were promptly replaced the next weekend!)
We all know what I will be doing at lunch – I will be making the emergency jean purchase to fix this situation. Wish me luck!

TRAVELLING

2008-11-08T06:00:00.000-05:00

I am a travelling fool these days - mostly for my job - and right now I am in Germany, specifically in Cologne. And while I was at a meeting and we broke for the afternoon we had canapes, pastries and...wait for it...wine. Platters of it being walked around waiting for me to take a glass. Which.I.did. It would be wrong to refuse don't you think?

Only in Europe can you drink wine whenever you want and no one will judge you and for that Europe totally rocks! Here no one looks at me and thinks alcoholic - they look at me and think totally normal. I really should move here because at home no one EVER looks at me and thinks I am in any way normal! Tee!

WHY I HAVE BEEN A BAD BLOGGER

2008-11-07T09:05:00.000-05:00

Dear Internet
I know, I suck at updating now. But remember, I went and got all ambitious and got another job at which they have deadlines, real work, objectives for me to reach and expectations that are high. Trust me, after where I used to work, this is an adjustment.
Hence no more blogging, reading blogs or Flickr or Facebook at work but here is what I have been doing in the meantime.

I have been travelling so much that I can barely remember what time zone I am in, who my beloved husband is and where i live. However Internet, please don't leave me for someone prettier, smarter who updates more frequently and gives you back massages and free lattes. I still love you lots and lots and some day will get back to slacking if that damn lottery win would ever kick in.

I promise to try harder and update, comment and generally let you know what is happening over here at crazy central.

Sincerely,
DiDi

COME BACK! COME BACK!

2008-11-03T12:02:00.000-05:00

I am a woman obsessed! I have been watching Mad Men since the very beginning (I was home sick and saw the 'Making of' thing on AMC and got hooked from that moment) and now, it is gone for another season!

And now I must wait another year to see Don again. Damn you season finale! Damn you studio execs who believe in limited runs! Give me back my Don!

I will just have to content myself with reruns of both seasons until he comes back to me - in all of his gorgeous glory! Sigh...

WITH THANKS

2008-10-10T09:00:00.001-04:00

This weekend is Thanksgiving for us Canadians - and a long weekend could not have come faster for me. I lurvve long weekends!

Here are some of things I am thankful for this year:

Wilson
Arthur
Long weekends
pedicures
Sorority girls
red wine
white wine
Diet Coke
new job
my crazy family
amazing friends
happy life
pretty shoes

I am off to eat my fill of turkey, stuffing, pumpkin pie and whatever else is prepared for this year feast! Happy Thanksgiving y'all - even if you are not Canadian.

A DOG'S LIFE

2008-10-08T10:09:00.001-04:00

As I sat on the couch last night with Arthur in my lap – and this is no small feat since he is 75 pounds – I thought about how good our brown boy had it. This was a dog whose world was shiny and bright – he had his mom (and his mom had wine so all was good for me too!), a bone to chew on, a lap to lie in, food and water in his bowls (that sit on a monogrammed mat!) – his life was good and he was happy.

He doesn’t give a baboon’s behind about the stock market, diminishing returns or the state of the global economy. His whole goal in life is to be able run like the wind, play with a ball and to crawl into bed with us each and every morning.

If this is a dog’s life, there are certainly some days when I think – that life is pretty darn good!

THE VIEW FROM THERE

2008-10-05T18:19:00.001-04:00

This was the view that I had when I was outside of San Francisco last week. Pounding surf, sunshine and mild weather were almost enough to make me ditch my life and become a California girl.

I know that California has smog, too many cars, earthquakes and an actor for a governor but every time I go I always think that I could so live here.

Oh well, maybe in my next life!

CALIFORNIA HERE I COME...

2008-10-01T16:29:00.000-04:00

OK, so I am already here and loving it. As I spend 3 days at a posh hotel outside of San Francisco on the edge of the ocean - I am just about ready to ditch my life in Toronto for this idyllic place. That is until I read the paper and see how much it costs to live here and quickly remember that I don't have any money. DAMN! As of now, I am officially badgering Wilson about winning the lottery just so I can come back here and live it up like George and Weezy.

While there is a large amount of travel with this new job and I hate that it takes me away from home, away from my boys - the perks of twice daily maid service, unlimited towels, king size bed with loads of pillows and room service help ease the pain.

So thanks California for be so obliging with the weather and your hospitality. This Canadian girl really appreciates it!

YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE IT AFTER ALL...

2008-09-22T16:20:00.002-04:00

Had a blast watching the Emmy's last night and my girl crush on Tina Fey has grown significantly! She is truly one of the funniest women on the planet and when she and Amy Poehler are together, I am in hysterics. Also, having Jeff Probst, Patrick Dempsey and Jon Hamm all in one show together was utterly delicious! I remembered why I watched Survivor as long as I did and Jeff Probst is that reason. Those dimples...sigh!

Flash forward to near the end of the show and out comes Mary Tyler Moore with her trademark megawatt smile and from a distance I was all 'Damn she looks good!' - fit, really good hair, great dress and I am all happy to see her and had the show theme song running through my head. http://www.televisiontunes.com/Mary_Tyler_Moore_-_1972.html

Aaaannnnd then the camera pulled in for a close up. "Pull back!" I screamed at the TV. Mary has a scary, plastic surgery face! Her face was so tight that her crotch must be up around her ears when she smiles. Then she gestured and again I was horrified! The crepey, flappy skin almost whacked me in the face. Mary, please!! I beseech you - no more plastic surgery and pretty, pretty please wear sleeves when on TV from now on! I know that aging is a bitch but please - we all have to recognize that we can no longer wear certain things anymore with every decade we age. And at your age - sleeves are now mandatory! And Mare, please know, I pick because I care.

Now am back at work and dreaming of being stranded on a desert isle with Jeff Probst...ooops, sorry for the drool!

Have a good week y'all!

NO WAY! NO HOW! NO COMB OVER!

2008-09-21T13:29:00.000-04:00

I will never understand how anyone can think that a comb over is in any way attractive?

Case in point, I am in the mall on Saturday getting my cardio in (otherwise known as shopping) and in front of me is an attractive, older man. He turns to get on the escalator and I thought I was going to have a stroke. Glued to his head with some type of shiny head sealant, were no more than a dozen hairs carefully arranged in some sort of even fashion. Did he think that I could no longer see the tanned top of his head? Actually the tanned top 3/4s of his head?

On behalf of women everywhere I make this public request - cut it off! We can see the skin shining through the 6 hairs you are so proud of and beg of you to embrace your baldness. Nothing is attractive about a few hairs grown so long and scraped up and over a place on your head where they do not belong. Do what is right and set those poor hairs free! They have done their best for you and now is their time to retire to Hair Heaven!

Women around the world beg of you - no more comb over! And in return, we will stop pointing at you in malls, mock retching and then blogging about it. Once that is fixed, we will work on the bad old man jeans but a girl has to have priorities!

RANDOM THOUGHTS

2008-09-08T14:39:00.003-04:00

I am feeling a definite loss of inspiration regarding what to say here so here are a collection of random thoughts. If nothing else, it will get them out of my head.

was slightly hung over this morning - nothing works better to fix that than a breakfast that includes bacon
I love the GAP
Red wine is truly a gift from God
The sound of a can of Diet Coke opening is music to my ears
Cheese should really have less calories as it makes up a large part of my diet
How do the girls at the MAC counter keep their make up perfect every minute of the day?
And why is it that I can never recreate anything that they do for me with the same products and brushes?
Is 42 too old to tell people that I am really good at Wii bowling?
Just saw an ad for Survivor and am wondering who still watches it?

That are all the random thoughts I could muster up today. I promise to better the next time I write.

A REQUEST FOR THE INTERNET

2008-09-02T10:00:00.000-04:00

Today, our friend Rob has been deployed to join the Canadian troops in Afghanistan. He and Wilson grew up together and their parents and Wilson's parents are best friends. He is a loving husband to Marcie and a father to 2 gorgeous children.

This is not a political statement or me on any kind of soap box. Just a request to you dear Internet - in whatever way you do - could you send out good thoughts to the universe for Rob and his family to keep him safe for his tour. All of us who know him, just want him to come home safe and sound.

Thank you Internet!

I'M JES SAYING...

2008-08-29T23:07:00.002-04:00

I was at the airport going through security to go to my gate for my flight to Montreal for my first event with my new company. A nice looking couple were in front of me who were emptying all that they own into the bins to be xrayed. When out of nowhere, the lady turns, looks for her friend who dropped them off and waved at this person. At this point my eyes exploded and I will never be the same. The woman had on a white, sleeveless blouse and when she lifted up her arm to wave I got a view of her 6 inch long pit hair flapping around as she waved!

I can tolerate many things but that almost made my head explode! Lady, For the love of God, if you choose to not shave your underarms, then do the world a solid and never wear sleeveless AGAIN! No sleeves are a privilege not a right!!!!

Today's rant has now concluded - please feel free to resume your business.

COUGAR AND THE GEEKS

2008-08-29T10:00:00.001-04:00

This weekend, this last, lovely, long weekend of the summer, I will be in Montreal for the World Cyber Games. Why you ask dear Internet? Because of my new job - that's why! My new company is a large sponsor of the World Cyber Games or as I call it - Geekfest!

When I told Wilson that I was going to World Cyber Games - his loving response was "You are going to look like such a cougar there surrounded by teenage boys!". My response - I wanted to choke the spit out of him but instead responded with a wifely "Fuck Off!"

My wee knowledge of video games consists of our new Wii. I am really good at Wii bowling and that is about it. The last time I was in Best Buy, a 9 year kid kicked my ass at Guitar Hero and tennis. I have a distinct feeling that the song running through my head this weekend will be "One of these things is not like the other".

So this weekend while y'all are enjoying sunshine and cocktails - remember me -your very own 42 year old cougar surrounded by palefaced teenage boys with excellent hand/eye coordination - and then pour yourself a large drink and have it for me. I am going to need all the help I can get to get through this weekend!

WHEN DO YOU...

2008-08-24T20:57:00.003-04:00

Internet,
Here is a question that has been plaguing us at the Sorority for sometime...at what point when you are dating someone do you sleep with them? We Sorority girls had a recent meeting and chatted at length about this.

DiDi - I made it only to the 2nd date with Wilson. Excessive alcohol, lobster and his cuteness all worked against me. I was going to try to hold out for date 3 so as to not appear whorish but didn't make it. Apparently I am the skank of the group!

Mellie - date 3 with the Jew. Again, wine involved.

ReRe - has made it to date 4 before doing the deed. Mellie and I consider this seriously saintlike behavior and we are considering revolking her relationship in the Sorority if she doesn't raise her skank level somewhat.

Dear Internet - what is your answer on this. What do you think is appropriate hold out time vs skanky? Enquiring minds want to know!

ALL EMPLOYEE MEETING

2008-08-24T20:49:00.002-04:00

So we had an all employee meeting and all the new employees were introduced and had to say something about themselves

I wanted to say many things - none of which were appropriate like "Am sarcastic, cynical and I think funny. Love pretty shoes, purses and a good bottle of wine. Have a blog and read the words of some amazing women and oh yeah - am really happy to be here!"

Instead I say how happy I was to be there and am looking forward to meeting and working with everyone! I think the first paragraph was much more interesting!

Also, when I told Wilson that I had an All Employee meeting, he asked if I wore my prettiest shoes. Does he know me or what! God I love that man!!

...and yes I did! Black patent leather Mary Jane Cole Haans.

FIRST WEEK OVER - WOEFULLY UNINFORMED!

2008-08-08T17:40:00.001-04:00

Well my first week is over and I am still gainfully employed! But boy-oh-boy has my life changed! My new office blocks all social networking (Facebook, Flickr, Blogger sites) as well as all entertainment sites. I feel so out of touch - like my mother or something. However, then they started throwing work my way and I quickly realized that I will no longer have time for this shiz throughout the day.

I have missed you dear internet! Fill me in on what's happening. Who's sleeping with who? What is new and different? Give a poor, uninformed girl the deets!

SO LONG SLACKER!

2008-08-05T16:41:00.001-04:00

Tomorrow I start my new job! I have left the relative safety of a job where I did what I wanted when I want and now will actually work for a living. WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING! I haven't been nervous about a job, any job in such a long time. I know that this change is good for me but holy crap - I am NERVOUS!

So this slacker bids you all a fond farewell. The next time you hear from me - I will be a full-fledged worker bee!

So long slacker girl - it has been a fun ride!

HOW TO GET GOOD GIFTS ON YOUR BIRTHDAY

2008-08-03T12:00:00.003-04:00

Buried under my resentment of turning a year older is the joy of receiving birthday gifts! This year Wilson outdid himself (and he really had to after the fiasco of last year!) Fiasco description - last year, I inadvertantly bought my own birthday gift - a camera bag. We got a really nice camera for a wedding gift and Wilson had harped at me that we had to get a camera bag to protect the shiny, new camera. When I told him that I bought a new camera bag he said "Great, that is your birthday present!" Cue the ensuing argument about gifts and effort.

However, this year he bought me not 1 but 2 Burberry bags, a camera knapsack and a UV filter for our telephoto lens.

I love the blessed plaid so much! Wilson is happy that I have stopped nagging his ass for a pretty purse. Also, I am hysterical that he bought me a camera bag again, but he is SO tired of hearing me complain that I can't fit all our camera equipment into the bag "he" bought me last year.

Complaining = good gifts! I must remember this for next year!!!!

BROKEN VA-JAY-JAY

2008-08-01T09:25:00.002-04:00

Muffy may have broken her ass but last night I broke my va-jay-jay! I wish I were kidding but, dear internet, y'all know what a walking klutz I am and how I should avoid, but somehow never do, anything that could and will most likely cause me an injury. How does one do break their va-jay-jay you ask? Sit back, pour yourself a glass of something and listen to my tale of woe!

Wilson came home from a 'work' trip. Pardon my sarcasm here but any 'work' trip that involves 2 rounds of golf, much drinking, staying at a REALLY nice resort and as he says it 'networking' still spells BOONDOGGLE to me in any language. But I digress. So of course Arthur is so happy to see his daddy and they are in the back yard playing catch with the Kong ball (that is Arthur is catching and Wilson is throwing).

Wilson accidentally throws the ball into our neighbour’s yard and then looks at me and says "You have shoes on can you go and get it?" This is where I should have said - 'you threw the damn thing there - you go and get it as I am about do something REALLY important and fetch myself an adult beverage' and yet, for some stupid reason I said OK.

I start to climb over our decrepit fence (held together only by good wishes and termites) and Wilson says "Don't climb over in the middle, climb near a post as it isn't very strong". Again, where was my common sense (apparently on vacation) as I forgot how accident-prone I am and did not immediately get off the fence and tell him to get the stupid ball his damn self. I moved closer to a post and get one leg over and while balancing myself to bring my other leg over, the fence broke and I fell onto the top board and, yes you guessed it, what broke my fall was my vagina. And OWWWW!

Wilson helps me off the fence and I do what any woman in pain does - walk into the house and poured myself a LARGE glass of wine - for medicinal purposes of course. I moan and complain about my broken va-jay-jay until Wilson says did you look at it to make sure all is OK. And of course you know the answer to that is no. I was much more interested in my 'medicine'. I look at it - as best as I can - and HOLY SHIT - I really did a good number on it. Poor va-jay-jay!

Needless to say - I placed the blame squarely on Wilson's shoulders and tried to make him feel all guilty and stuff - and told him that they only thing that would make me feel better is a pretty new whatever-I-want to start my new job. All that got was a damn raised eyebrow. BASTARD!

Y'all know I am milking this for all it is worth this weekend. I can already see this scenario playing out - Wilson will ask me to help/do something that will interrupt me reading/napping/whatever and my response will be as follows -- “I can't insert some job that I don't want to do because in trying to be a good wife and help you, I BROKE MY VAGINA, so you will need to do it."

Lesson learned by DiDi - never put off getting a glass of wine in order to help husband. Bad, bad things come of it.

MANY BLOG POSTS ALL AT ONCE...

2008-07-27T22:12:00.004-04:00

I WOULD LIKE TO THANK THE ACADEMY...
and KK for her blog award. I truly never thought anyone besides ReRe and Mellie would read it (and both of them read this only because it is automatically sent to them) and that KK was kind of enough to acknowledge my wee little blog with a Brilliante Award - I am truly grateful. You rock KK - and I love your blog!

And now it is my turn to pass it on...

Fanfrickingtastic

Mama's Losin It

From the house of Emily

Jemima

Nothing but Bonfires

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UNEMPLOYMENT

I finished my job last Friday but before I left, ReRe made sure that I had one helluva send off. There were many embarrassing moments and much laughter. It felt good to say good bye. And now, for one week any way, I am unemployed - sort of. I have spa and hair appointments set up as well as lunches with friends. The only thing standing between me living this life everday is that damn lottery win. Seriously, I would make a really good lady who lunches (and shops and spas...)!

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PEDICURES

Are really a gift from God! Nothing is nicer (on a Monday no less) than to look down at VERY PRETTY toes. But the best part is that you got those while everyone else you know was working. I have not yet decided which I liked more today - getting the pedi or emailing friends while I was getting the pedi. Both were fun!

Whew! I am now up-to-date! I must go and have a glass of wine now to recuperate.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I DID IT!

2008-07-15T13:33:00.004-04:00

Internet - you will NEVER believe what has happened to me in the last 2 days! I just quit my job of 8 1/2 years to go to a new place. How the hell does that happen?

I am leaving behind me a cushy life where I came and went whenever I felt like it, wore pretty much whatever I wanted and did whatever I pretty much damned will pleased(which equated to me blogging, commenting and doing a lot on my Flickr account all from the comfort of my desk).

Now I am going to a place where I have to perform, meet and exceed expectations and actually work for a living. Also, my commute goes from nothing to everything - so I will be come one of THOSE people - a COMMUTER! THE HELL! What am I thinking?

Oh yeah - the thing that made me jump up and down and scream in a Horshack kind of way - Oh! Oh! Oh!Oh!Oh! - was the cool stuff that I get to work on - like the 2010 Olympics. When they were saying stuff like horrible commute, never see your husband, work for free all I heard in my ears was "WORK ON THE OLYMPICS! WORK ON THE OLYMPICS!". You can see my attention span is still functioning at its ever lovin best!

Internet, please don't think I don't love you anymore if I don't talk to you as much because I do. Just remember it is not safe for me to comment and drive at the same time.

MAMMA MIA!

2008-07-03T13:57:00.001-04:00

Lordy lordy - there are many reasons to see Mamma Mia and Pierce Brosnan, for me, is VERY high on the list. This man is HOT to me. Other reasons - Abba, Abba and more Abba. First Sex in the City and now Pierce and Abba in one movie - 2 helpings of happiness pie in one summer!

PS - Abba is not cheesy!
PPS - OK, so it might be a bit cheesy but who among us doesn't like cheese? Eeezackly!
PPPS - Yes, I know that Colin Firth is in this movie as well and I love him too but Pierce is so damn sexy that I lose all ability to form a cohesive thought. I also adore Colin Firth and meant no slight to Mr. Darcy!